Boulevard of Broken Dreams
by LeaannaLove
Summary: After the death of their mother Ryder and Bella Swan are once again forced to live under the same roof. But when the Cullen family returns and tensions rise,the relationship between the Swan twins becomes even more strained. Will hard times push them together, or is their relationship destroyed forever?
1. I walk a lonely road

_**I walk a lonely road**_

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><p>Bella<p>

He's gone.

He's gone.

I keep repeating those two words in my heart, hoping that one time that I think it, it will not be true.

I hear water slosh with approaching footsteps. I close my eyes and pray that either Edward had returned, or a wild animal had come to rip me limb from limb.

"Bella?" I sit up slowly at the sound of the familiar voice. The entire right side of my body is wet due to laying on the rain-soaked forest floor.

"J-Jake?" He looks different. He's taller, more muscular, he cut his hair and got a tattoo. But I know he's still Jacob.

The larger quileute rushes towards me. "Where have you been, Bella? We've been worried sick!"I ignore him, wrapping my arms around my knees tightly and began rocking back and forth.

"Bella?" He's gone. "Bella, What's wrong?" He sits on the wet leaves beside me and puts an arm around my shoulders.

"H-He left me!" I wail before the floodgates finally open. Fat tears roll down my face as I let out all of my pain.

"Hey, stop that," He says pulling me into a tight embrace. "It'll be okay." I look up and into his dark brown eyes, that stare back down at me sadly. I don't know what happened, But I feel something change. My heart hurts a little less as I stare into his beautiful brown eyes.

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><p>5 months later<p>

I sit perched on the counter in Jake's garage, watching him work on his car.

"Can you hand me the monkey wrench, babe?" Jake asks from under the hood of the car.

I give him a look that he can't see. "I can't count how many times I've told you that I don't speak grease monkey."

I laugh comes from under the hood. "It's next to the flat head screwdriver." I roll my eyes. There's eight various screwdrivers on the counter.

"Which-"

He cuts me off. "The flat one, Genius!" I find the wrench right where he said it was.

"Found it!" He comes from under the hood and I hop down off of the counter. He takes the wrench and places a soft kiss to my hand before going back under.

I blush deeply. Me and Jake have gone out for four months, and I couldn't ask for more. He treats me like a princess without being overbearing like Edward was. I don't even miss him now that I'm with Jake.

Plus I still get my mythical fix, because Jacob is a werewolf! At first I couldn't believe it, but then I took into account that my ex was a vampire, and suddenly it didn't seem so crazy anymore. Last month he told me that we're soul-mates, or imprints as he put it. Some girls would find that weird, but I like weird.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Jacob's best-friend Embry walking in. "Hi, Embry," He gives me a shy dimpled smile.

"Hey, Bella. Jake still pretending he knows what he's doing?" I laugh at this.

Jake comes from under the hood and dusts himself off. "Stop talking shit, before I beat your ass." He pushes his friend out of the way and starts putting his tools away.

"Paul needs to borrow some clothes. All his are shredded." I laugh and Jake rolls his eyes at the hot heads antics.

"What set him off this time? Did one of those evil tree branches brush up against his shoulder, and he phased just to show it who's boss... again?" Jake asks sarcastically.

"Nah, but, believe it or not, You aren't that far off."

Jake sighs. "Come on. Baby, are you coming?" He asks putting the last wrench away.

"No, actually I think I need to call Rye back." My twin sister called me a million times and I didn't get a chance to call her back.

She answers the phone immediately. "WHAT THE FUCK, BELLA!" She yells causing me to have to hold it away from my ear.

"What's wrong?" I ask immediately panicked. If Ryder calls it must be serious because she despises me. We never have been able to get along.

A week after I moved in with her and Charlie, She left to live with mom, saying that she couldn't deal with it anymore. Whatever the hell that means.

"Mom and Phil are in the hospital, and dad isn't answering his phone. AND YOU ARE SUDDENLY TOO FUCKING BUSY TO ANSWER YOUR GODDAMNED PHONE!"

"W-what are you talking about? Why are they in the hospital."

"T-they got into a head on collision with another car. They're in the ER and NURSE FUCKSTEIN wont let me see them without an adult. Even though I legally AM A FUCKING ADULT."I begin running to my car as the nurse says something back to her.

"I'll find Charlie. We'll be there as soon as we can." I manage to gasp out. It feels like my chest is caving in, I can't breathe. "Charlie can call the hospital and tell them to let you in."

I hear her sigh in relief. "Thanks." I could imagine that the word must have tasted like ammonia on her tongue from the way she spit it out.

The phone clicks as she hangs up. I rest my head on the steering wheel for a moment. Why? Why do things always fall apart again, right when you finally pull them back together.

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><p><strong>So minor side note, The story will be in Ryder's POV, but I found it easier to do this chapter from Bella's POV.<strong>

**Thanks for reading. Please R&R... **


	2. The only one that I have ever known

_**The only one that I have ever known**_

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><p><strong>Ryder (The POV for the entire rest of the story.)<strong>

Bella must have gotten a hold of Charlie, because a little under three minutes later the phone at the nurses station rings. The bitchy blonde nurse answers the phone, careful not to mess up her acrylic nails in the process.

"Hello, You've reached the of Phoenix family hospital, My name is El, how may I help you."

Her eyes snap up to meet mine as the person on the other line speaks to her."Mhm, yeah, She's here.' Her face scrunches up into a sneer. "Who is this exactly. Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. Okay. Of course, right away sir."

She hangs up the phone and turns to me. "Right this way." I shuffle after her in my slippers, which I hadn't had time to change out of, with a satisfied smirk.

That smirk quickly falls from my face when I walk into that room. My mom, is lying on a hospital bed. There are I.V's hooked into her pale skin. Mom's always been extremely pale, but now her skin is almost translucent. Her right leg is hung up in a sling and her arm is in a cast, she has of a neck brace and her stomach is wrapped as well as her head. My stomach lurches as I see the gauze wrapped around her forehead with dried blood stuck to it.

Nurse El seemed to take pity on me when she saw just how bad my mother is. "I guess I'll leave you now," To say goodbye. She didn't say the last part, but I knew thats what she meant. My pessimistic, or realistic, mind begin taking over. She's not going to make it. This is going to be the last time that I see my mother.

I grab her hand. I feel her faint heart beat as I squeeze her cold flesh. To my surprise her hand squeezes mine back. Her eyes open slightly and she looks at me through her eyelashes. "M-my baby." Her thumb rubs along the back of my hand. "My poor sweet little baby. I-i'm so sorry." Her eyes close again before I can ask what she means. I know she's still alive though due to the even beats on the EKG machine.

I'm still holding her hand when I realize something. This will be the last time I have alone with my mom. The last time that I'll get to talk to my best-friend, To tell her all of the things that I've been holding back. I take in a shuddered breath and begin to talk.

"M-mommy." My voice cracks a little as I say the word. I haven't called her mommy since I was eight, but now the word just felt right. "I know I'm not the easiest person to get along with, But I just want to thank you for not giving up on me."

"I've been through hell and back and you and dad have been right there next to me, and I can never repay you for that." The only thing that I can think is, this is all my fault. If you live with a bad luck charm for any amount of time, you will be adorned with bad luck as well.

I begin bawling now. It's been a while since I've cried, I forced myself to become numb to pain a long time ago and now it's all coming pouring out at once. "I should be the one in this hospital bed. I'd give anything to take your place, you've got to believe me. P-people need you, Nobody needs me. I should be the one to d-die."

I never really believed in heaven or hell, but if they are real mom is definitely going to heaven, and when my time came I would burn in the fiery pits of hell, where people like me belong.

I've lied, cheated, and stolen yet here I am, holding my mothers cold hand knowing that it should be the other way around.

I don't know how long I sit their. It feels like seconds though I know it must be longer. In that time my tears finally dried up, nurses and doctors came in and out to check on my mom and give me looks of pity, and my mothers hand simply got colder and colder.

It must have been an extremely long time because after what felt like maybe three minutes I hear frantic face paced footsteps getting closer and closer until finally Charlie and Bella burst into the room.

"Is she-" Bella cuts herself off when she sees mom. She collapses to the ground and her body shakes with tears much like mine did not too long ago. I looked at her with a feeling that confused me. Disgust.

Sure, I'd been no better than she is, but their was a difference between me and Bella. My moment of weakness was alone, only witnessed by me and my dying mother. Bella's outright display of emotion is a foreign concept to me.

Dad sits in the chair in the corner and stair at a spot of into the distance, I could tell that he was trying to keep it together despite seeing his first love on her death bed.

When Bella finally got herself together she grabbed moms other hand. Tears still fell thick and fact down her face, though now they were silent. Everything was silent, in fact. The only sound in the room was to beeping of the EKG, but even that faded off into the distance.

The silence is disrupted, "My precious little babies." Moms voice is faint and strangled, sounding like she was gargling water while talking. "My sweet and caring Isabella and my strong and fearless Rydella." I don't say anything about her using my full name, which I adamantly hate.

Talking seems to be getting harder for her, and the EKG beeps faster. "Y-you. Three. Be. G-Good. T-t-to. Each other." She spits out. Before closing her eyes and gasping as if the strain had been to much for her.

Charlie comes over to stand by her bedside just as she whispers. "i-i can see Phil. He's waiting for me."Phil died shortly after they arrived at the hospital. "i'm coming honey. I love all of you." The last part is directed at us. Thats the last thing she says before the EKG gives on long final beep. She's gone.

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><p>So, I hoped you liked this chapter. I wanted to tell you guys that I made an instagram account where I'll post pictures of outfits and places in this fanfiction. The username is Leaannalove.<p>

Alright, Love you guys.

R&R


	3. Don't know where it goes

**I decided I'm going to start updating this story every/every other sunday. Okay? Okay.**

_**Don't know where it goes**_

I sit in rust bucket Bella calls a car quietly jammed in between Bella and Charlie. The scenery isn't like Phoenix, but not entirely alien. I'd only been in Phoenix for around a year and a half, and while it was beautiful, I never could love it as much as I love Forks.

The feeling of a small town was always appealing to me. I love the close knit communities, the smell of rain that always lingers through the town, and the mystery of living in a small town.

**Ever just the same**

**Ever a surprise**

**Ever as before**

**Ever just as sure**

**As the sun will rise**

**Tale as old as time**

**Tune as old as song**

**Bittersweet and strange**

**Finding you can change**

**Learning you were wrong**

**Certain as the sun**

**Certain as the sun**

**Rising in the east**

**Tale as old as time**

**Song as old as rhyme**

**Beauty and the beast.**

Bella's cellphone begins blaring Beauty and The Beast by Celine Dion. I see her smile fondly as she reaches for her phone, like its some sort of inside joke shared between her and the caller.

"Hey J-" In the rear-view mirror I see that goofy smile melt off of her face. Her eyebrows furrow together in confusion. "What do you mean? Who's here?" the speaker on the other line speaks for a moment. Whatever they said causes Bella to clutch at her chest. She try's to stutter out a sentence but words aren't forming. "J-J-Jake... I-I'll call you back." She spits out before hanging up the phone. She brings her knees to her chest and begins sobbing loudly.

Charlie pulls the truck to the side of the road. "Bella. Bella!" He says shaking her shoulder. "Who's back? Who is back?" He begs looking hysteric.

"The Cullens." I roll my eyes at her whispered sentence. She just had a mental breakdown because her ex is back in town. How am I related to this girl.

I put my headphones in and scroll through my play list, looking for a song loud enough to drown out Bella's stupidity. The sooner I get out of this car, the better.

After about fifteen minutes dad finally gets Bella calmed down enough that he can slide back into the drivers seat. Finally. I close my eyes and sink into my seat. Could this car ride be any longer.

When we finally arrive, I have to restrain myself from jumping out of the car before it even stops. When i do climb out of the car I have to carry all of my bags in by myself because, of course, Bella is too distraught to be of any service and she also needed Dad to comfort her until her boyfriend got here, Dad of course awkwardly agreed to stay inside with her, though he did at least ask if I was okay dragging all of this stuff in by myself

Getting my bags out of the car and into my room wasn't exactly hard considering I was only in Phoenix for like a year and a half, and all I brought with me was my summer clothing and a couple of personal items like, embarrassingly enough, my teddy bear, Cocoa.

As I'm lugging my last and largest bag out of the car a I hear someone call my name. "Ryder? Is that you?" I hear a deep voice ask from the end of the street. I turn to see three tall tan teenage boys walking towards me. He seems familiar, but I'm pretty sure I don't know any gorgeous,muscular,tattooed native American boys.

Before he can get into the yard, Bella darts out of the house and trips into his arms. He lifts her into the air and she wraps her legs around his waist. His two friends pantomime vomiting. As they get closer I can pick up a little of their conversation.

"Oh, Jake I missed you," Bella murmurs into his shoulder. Jake? No way is that Jacob Black. I know things change, but there is no way he has gone from my dorky friend Jacob to...that in a year and a half.

One of his friends sees me struggling with my suitcase and comes to the rescue. "Let me get that for you, sweetheart." I furrow my brow and wrinkle my nose. Sweetheart? Who the hell does this guy think he is.

"No thanks," I'll admit, I'm stubborn and prideful, it's one of my accomplishments and extreme downfalls. I drag the bag into the house, through the kitchen, and down the stairs into my converted basement bedroom.

The room was my thirteenth birthday present. I had been complaining for years about having to share my room with Bella when she came to visit. Finally dad decided to redo the basement.

He had wooden floors put down on the stairs and the stairs leading down into the room. He covered the walls in blue peace sign wallpaper.

I walk through the hanging black vinyl records that divide my room in part of the room that was actually a room had been shoved all the way to the far end.

I opened the glass door which led out into the window well and throw the bag in with the others, There was a glass window at the top of the well to keep out the water.

I walk back into the room and look around, Man I missed this place. On the wall next to the window well entrance is a tall mahogany dresser that I use for summer clothes, on top are my 'yearly pictures'. Every year on my birthday a picture is taken of me, framed, and added to this collection. The tradition was started by mom the day I was born. She tried to do it with Bella too but Bella never kept up with it.

On the other side of the well is a larger mahogany dresser with a mirror, a layer of dust had coated it after a year and a half of neglect. The only thing on the dresser was my dehumidifier which surprisingly still hummed, letting me know that the battery still hot pink electric guitar sits in its stand in front o the dresser. I run my hands across the strings, itching to play it again.

I hiss in annoyance when I realize I'm standing on my pink throw rug with my combat boots still on. I'm a bit of a neat freak, an the fact that I just trudged mud and dirt into my room annoys me to no end.

I take off my boots and flop down on my bed. The pink and white striped comforter is still as comfortable as ever. One of my favorite parts of my room is my bed. The black headboard and the footrest have little pink, black, and white guitars mounted to them. I rest my head on my black and pink peace sign pillows and close my eyes.

Mom, What the hell am I going to do.

"RYDER" Bella screams from upstairs. I groan.

"WHAT?" I really don't want to go back up those stairs.

"Can you come help me," I hear her voice getting closer indicating that she's coming down the stairs. I roll off of my bed and smooth down the blankets. I make my way quickly to the well.

I drag out a bag in an attempt to pretend that I'm unpacking. "What? I'm busy," I say unzipping my suitcase and starting to transport shorts from my suitcase to the bottom drawer of my summer shelf.

She ignores me as she steps through the records. "Can Embry and Paul stay here with you for a couple of hours? Me and Jake are going to get a bite to eat," I say the first thing that pops into my head.

"Hell no."

"Oh c'mon, Rye." She begs. "It'll just be a couple of hours, and dad just left for an emergency down at the police station so you won't get in trouble for them being in your room."

"I've been here for twenty minutes, Could you give me a little time to settle in before you start asking me to babysit your friends?"

"They're Jake's friends."

"Oh, Because that really makes me want to stay in a house alone with them." I hiss dragging my now empty suitcase to my closet, across from my bed, and shuffling it onto the overhead shelf.

"After everything I've done for you, You can't do this one thing for me?" She wouldn't go there would she? She's not that big of a bitch as to mention the lowest point in my life, right?

"What exactly have you ever done for me?" I say through my teeth.

"I'm sorry, but who exactly did you call when you needed a forged signature and money for-" She went there.

"SHUT UP!" I hiss loudly. "Fine they can stay just .mouth shut." She gives me a smug smile though her eyes look slightly afraid as if she's scared I'm going to hit her, which I'll admit I was contemplating for a couple of seconds.

She finally decides that I'm not going to, and heads out of the room. I hear her talking upstairs. "Guys, she said it was okay." Whoever she's talking to doesn't seem too convinced, but I hear footsteps coming down the stairs anyway.

Soon, The two guys who were with Jacob, Embry and Paul, poked their heads through the vinyls. "Careful with those," I hiss." It took me forever to figure out how to string those."

"Oh, Sorry," The taller one who asked to help earlier says sarcastically. "Didn't know we were stepping into the room of a queen. Em, maybe should we have taken our shoes off before we stepped inside?" So that one must be Paul.

"Stop being an ass." His friend, Embry, hisses.

"Yes, actually, you should have taken your shoes off before you entered the presence of the queen, feel free to put them over in the kingdoms wishing well, and while you're walking over there, you can kiss my royal ass."

Embry doubles over with laughter at his friends shocked face. Paul doesn't look like he's used to not only being rejected but also told off in the same huffs but he does take his shoes off like directed.

"Would you like some help unpacking?" Embry asks sweetly.

"It's the least you can do." I don't mean to be a bitch, I really don't. I've been living in the same house with Bella for less than an hour and she's already grating my nerves.

"The least we can-" Paul murmurs to himself and he begins turning red an shaking slightly. "Contrary to popular belief, doll, we aren't here because we want to know the greatness that is Ryder Swan, Kay? And we damn sure aren't here to kiss Queen Bella's ass. We're just here to make sure the leeches don't show up. as soon as we make sure they're keeping their distance, we'll be out of your hair." He darts out of the room as if it's a life or death situation after he gives his little speech.

Me and Embry sit in silence for a while. I sit on my bed and unpack my bags and he watches some action movie on my laptop. It's not until I'm halfway done unpacking my last bag that I say something. "What did Paul mean?"

Embry chuckles from his spot curled on the rug.. "Ah, Don't pay any attention to Paul. He's always angry about something, and you pissed him off a little bit when you denied his most generous offer to sweep you off your feet earlier." He says sarcastically.

"He offered to carry my suitcase, I wouldn't exactly call that a 'most generous offer', and that's not what I meant. He said that you guys are only here to 'make sure the leeches don't show up'."

Now Embry sighs. " 'Leeches' is the nickname we use for the Cullen's down on the rez. Jake wanted us to make sure none of them came around here and messed with Bella."

I roll my eyes. "Sorry I asked." I'm so over hearing about the Cullen's. First Bella has a mental breakdown, and then Jacob calls in the fucking swat team to prevent them from coming to the house. Unless the Cullen's are some sort of notorious mob family with a hit out on Bella, I don't really see the big deal.

As if he could read my mind, Embry snorts. "I feel ya. But Jake thinks it's completely necessary for his "Princess""

I finish unpacking my last bag and put it into the closet. I grab my guitar and begin walking through the records. "Where are you going?" Embry asks looking up from his movie.

"I've got things to do." was my only response before I closed the curtains, which actually don't do much for providing privacy.

The first and larger part of my room had been turned into a work space of sorts. I use the area to film videos for my YouTube channel. I do pretty well on the internet, it think, I'm no Shane Dawson but I'm good at what I do.

In the corner farthest from the door and the curtain or record is my work the wall sits a black corner desk with shelves and drawers on each end. Binders are stacked up on the first shelf, filled with song lyrics and things that people send to the desk is a vase of fake black roses, a black desk lamp, a couple of notebooks, my laptop, a pink and purple ombre wig on a stand,and my camera.

On the right wall over the desk is a collage of family pictures. I smile at the one of dad pushing me on the swings when I was younger, and my heart twinges at the one of mom grinning and covered in finger paint.I cringe at the picture on the left wall. It was some stupid picture mom had forced me and Bella to make together when we were six.

On the other side of the room across from the door and beside the curtains was my black Spector bass, my black drum set, and an extra stand for my guitar.I take a deep breath. Time to get down to business.

Embry gladly helps me set up. He works on angling the camera, changing the cameras batteries, setting up the lights, finding all off my sheet music, and moving the drum kit into focus. I have to admit, The kids efficient.

While he's doing this, I changed clothes in the closet. I try not to let people on the internet know my identity, so every time that I record something, I use my alter ego, Riot Mercy.

I change into a superman knotted crop top and denim cut off shorts before exiting the closet. I get my red converses out of the box and begin pulling them on.

"Ugh. You're one of those people?" Embry asks with his nose wrinkled in disgust.

"What?"

"You keep your shoe boxes."

"If you haven't noticed," I say gesturing around the room. "I'm a little bit of a neat freak."

"You know," I hiss as I hear Paul's voice coming from the stairs, seconds later he comes the door. "We don't have to be neat, As long as you're freaky." I glare at him as he winks at me. Who the fuck does this guy think he is.

I don't respond to him as I finish putting on my shoes and move over to my desk. I put my hair up slide my wig on. After a couple of adjustments, and a lot of added make up I transform from Ryder Swan, an eighteen year old girl with dyed honey blonde hair, dark green eyes, and a smooth complexion and minimal, if any, makeup, into Riot Mercy, a nineteen year old girl with dark purple and pink hair, golden contacts, and heavy eye makeup with pale pink lipstick. The only thing the two girls have in common is the lip ring in the corner of my mouth and, of course, the fact that their both me.

"Alright," I say addressing the boys as sit behind my drum kit and balance the drum sticks in my right hand. "I'm about to start recording so either go upstairs or sit down and shut the fuck up." I wait for them to both disappear up the stairs before I used the remote to turn on the hand held camera. Here goes nothing.

**I don't really like this chapter too much, I think it's more quantity over quality :(. Anyway leave me a review and tell me what you think.**


	4. But its home to me and I walk alone

_**But it's home to me and I walk alone**_

_"Hey guys, It's Riot Mercy and this is…" I do a little drum roll, "Music Sunday."_

_"Um, So before I get started I have a few things to cover. First, as you can see, My hair is ombre again." I say this taking my superman snapback off and running my hand through the silky material. "I moved back in with my dad so I figured I should go back to the basics with everything, including my hair."_

_This is of course a complete lie. When I moved to Phoenix, I ended up leaving Riots wig in Forks, So I just bought a bleach blonde wig and cut it in the same style of the original, saying that It was time for a change._

_"And before you guys ask in the comments 'Why didn't you post this on Friday', Friday I was dealing with the death of a loved one" I have to pause and suck in a breath before continuing. "And I thought that was a little more important than Music Friday so…"_

_"Anyway, This is golden by Fall Out Boy."_

_I begin drumming the beat to the song, trying to look at the camera and sheet music as little as possible. As i'm drumming I think about how awesome this is going to look when I finish recording all of the different parts and then editing the I was in Phoenix all I made was acoustic guitar videos on Fridays, and 'Random Riot's' on Monday._

_As I finish up with the drumming and am pushing away the drum kit back in its original place by the curtain, I hear clapping from the stairs._

"Way to go superstar." Embry says with a grin, "I think the floor way shaking a little bit when you were hitting that drum kit."

"Is it okay that we listened to the show for free? Embry, I told you we should have paid for the all access pass!" Paul says with a smirk.

"Upstairs or shut the fuck up." I remind them of my rules while recording.

Paul holds a finger to his lips sarcastically

_I grab my guitar, flip the sheet music, and begin again. In the sheet music, there are words written everywhere, telling me where and when I needed to say things._

_I begin strumming the main guitar chords, standing against the wall. I avoid making eye contact with the two large boys sitting across the room at my desk._

_"too heavy for me," I hate doing the background parts, but they sound awesome when they mix with the main vocals._

_Once again when I have finished, the boys clap enthusiastically. I roll my eyes, I have to admit, they do grow on you. Like a mold or an aggravating toe fungus._

_After about three hours of recording the stringed instruments, which was way longer than usual because I had to stop and re record some parts due to Embrys obnoxious sneezing fit during the rhythmic guitar, and me having to stop several times during the bass recording to tell Paul to shut up, to tell Paul to stop being annoying, to slap Paul, and to put ice on my hand to bring down the throbbing after I slapped Paul, I finally got to my favorite part of making videos._

_Singing._

_I clear my throat a little before starting._

_"How cruel is the golden rule?_

_When the lives we lived are only golden-plated_

_And I knew that the lights of the city were too heavy for me_

_Though I carried karats for everyone to see"_

_…_

_"And pray they don't grow up to be…"_

_..._

Just as I've finished to song, I hear the doorbell ring upstairs. Embry and Paul immediately jump up and start walking towards the stairs. Paul shoves me gently when I start to follow, and I can't help but notice how overheated his hands are. "Stay here!" He hisses. Before he follow Embry quickly.

I of course follow. "I thought I told you to stay in your room." Paul snapped.

"And I thought that not only do you not live here, but I also thought that you were not my daddy, therefore not eligible to tell my what to do in my daddy's house.

He makes a sound in his throat and pushes me behind him. Did he just growl at me?

I peak around his bicep to see who Embry was arguing with at the door. The three figures at the door caused me to have to catch my breath. Then I roll my eyes. They are beautiful,yes, They look like people straight out of a magazine. Though also like people in magazines, they look fake,airbrushed, and photo shopped.

"I'm going to ask you one last time, Mutt." The one in the front says through gritted teeth. He's pale white with black eyes and shiny tousled bronze hair. "Where is Bella, We only want to tal-"

"What about my sister?" All three of their eyes snap to look at me.

"Excuse me?" The boy asks.

"Why are you looking for my sister."

"I'm sorry, little girl," The blonde girl to his left say. She clutches the boys arm tightly. She's tall, thin, blonde, and pretty, which her face pinched in dismay, So basically she is the sole embodiment of every girl I've ever hated. "But I don't believe that anyone was talking to you."

"You're really pretty, What's your name?"

"Rosalie Denali." She says proudly.

"Well, Rosalie Denali," I say with a false smile. "Can you do me a favor?"

"Do you want my beauty tips, because I'm afraid even all of my infinite wisdom isn't enough for you."

"No actually, I was just wondering if you could do me a favor and shut the hell up before I rip your face off and put it back on upside down." The boy to the very right snorts. He's tall and muscular, almost like a pale version of Jake, Paul, and Embry. He has chocolate brown curls and his smile shows deep dimple and bright golden eyes.

"Now." I say turning back to the bronze haired boy."Why are you looking for my sister."

He doesn't miss a beat. He puts on a small smirk and starts over. "I'm sorry, It seems we have been a bit rude. This is my brother Emmett and my girlfriend Rosalie. I'm Edward Cullen. We simply want to find Bella and talk to her, I only want to explain myself to-"

I sigh tired of the bullshit, already. I interrupt him."We're not home." I say before shutting the door in his face. Paul and Embry immediately fall to the ground in laughter.

"You're something else, Princes, Ya know that?"

* * *

><p>I hoped you guys liked this chapter as always r&amp;r because I love you guys.<p> 


	5. I walk this empty street

**So, clarification. When Bella came to Forks, only Jasper and Alice were dating. When The Cullens left, Edward met Rosalie, who is the fifth Denali sister.**

**...**

I roll my eyes and go retrieve my camera and laptop from my room. Sitting at the kitchen table I start editing my video.

About two hours and half of a video later, I hear one of the boys call my name. "WHAT?" I answer/ yell in the general direction that the voice had come from.

"I'M HUNGRY." It's Paul of course.

"ORDER A PI-"

"Why are you yelling?" A voice suddenly says from behind me.

"Dammit, Paul." I hiss, trying to get my pulse back down to a normal rate. "What the hell do you want!"

"I'm hungry!" He pouts, holding his stomach. "Pwease feed me, Wyder." I roll my eyes at his baby voice.

"Order a pizza or something." I say with a dismissive wave of my hand. Where the hell is Bella. I should beat her ass when she gets back.

"I don't have my wallet."

"I honestly don't see how thats my fault."

"Please!"

"If I make you something to eat, Will you get out of my ear and leave me the hell alone?" I roll my eyes as he nods his head.

An hour that could have been spent editing my video is spent making meatless spaghetti for the boys. I place the plate down in front of Embry and throw pauls down, he catches it effortlessly.

"Thanks, Ryder," Embry says with a mouth full of food. I scrunch my nose. Sweet but nasty. Pauls approach to me giving him food is just plain nasty.

"Why isn't there meat?" He pokes the food like I had just given him a plate full of cough syrup.

I look up from my laptop and make eye contact with him. "Animals have feelings too." Before slowly looking back down.

Around two years ago, I decided to minimize the deaths that I was accountable for. The idea of devouring any small animals lost all interest to me after-

I shake the thought out of my mind and finish editing the video. "Are you going to eat anything?" Embry asks from the sink, where he washes their plates.

"I'll grab something, just let me put in this last frame… and…. done."

"That's adorable." Paul says next to me. I raise an eyebrow at him. "You stick your tongue out when you concentrate.

"Shut up and come watch the damn video." I hiss as Paul lifts me up and slides into my chair before sitting me back in his lap. I want to hit him but my hand still kind of hurts.

Embry rinses the last dish and comes and sits in Pauls, former, chair. I reach for the play button but Paul grabs my hands with his and hugs me.

"Em, Press play." I roll my eyes and the other boy smirks and presses play

* * *

><p><em>"Hey guys, It's Riot Mercy and this is…"<em>

_*Drum roll*_

_"Music Sunday."_

_"Um, So before I get started I have a few things to cover. First, as you can see, My hair is ombre again."_

"You are too cute,"Paul says as my virtual alter ego runs her hands through her hair.

"Do me a favor and hop off my dick." His mood swings are giving me whiplash.

_"I moved back in with my dad so I figured I should go back to the basics with everything, including my hair."_

_"And before you guys ask in the comments 'Why didn't you post this on Friday', Friday I was dealing with the death of a loved one"_

Embry puts his hand on my knee and Paul hugs me a little tighter.

_"And I thought that was a little more important than Music Friday so…"_

_"Anyway, This is golden by Fall Out Boy."_

The screen goes black and when it comes back on, it shows five of me each with their assorted instruments.

The edited piano begins playing and all of the instruments besides the singing Riot. "Why don't you do the piano for the song too?" Embry asks.

"Because I don't have a piano." I answer simply.

_How cruel is the golden rule?_

_When the lives we lived are only golden-plated_

_And I knew that the lights of the city were too heavy for me_

_Though I carried karats for everyone to see_

"By golden rule does it mean 'Don't stick your dick in crazy'?" Paul asks.

"Good think I'm crazy."

"I'll make an exception for you."

_And I saw God cry in the reflection of my enemies_

_And all the lovers with no time for me_

_And all of the mothers raise their babies_

_To stay away from me_

_Tongues on the sockets of electric dreams_

_Where the sewage of youth drowned the spark of my teens_

_And I knew that the lights of the city were too heavy for me (too heavy for me)_

_Though I carried karats for everyone to see (everyone to see)_

_And I saw God cry in the reflection of my enemies_

_And all the lovers with no time for me_

_And all of the mothers raise their babies_

_To stay away from me_

_And pray they don't grow up to be..._

There's a pause after the video ends. "You have an amazing voice," Embry compliments.

"Th-"

"You know," Paul whispers in my ear. "If I was your lover, I'd have all the time in the world for you."

I hiss in annoyance as he and Embry laugh. " I hope your dick falls off." I say as I manage to wriggle out of his grip.

Through the laughter I hear the front door open. "ISABELLA MARIE SWAN, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!"

"Why are you yelling at me, Rydel Bianca Swan?" She asks clutching Jake's arm. Beside me I see Paul roll his eyes and Embry fake gagging. Glad to see I'm not the only one who refuses to believe Bella's innocent act.

"What part of 'be right back' don't you understand?"

"The part where you're not my parent." She says with a smirk.

"Yeah, I'm sure that your parent wouldn't be too happy to hear you were out with your boyfriend for," I check the time on my phone. "Nine hours. Or that you left to guys at his house that you barely know, for that matter."

Jake wraps his arm around her waist and glares at me. "Lay off Rydel! She's going through a lot!" yeah, Because I'm not dealing with a lot? I am going through just as much, if not more than, she is right now? But no. Screw how I feel. I have to suck it up and keep it together. "If you knew half of what she knew you would know why she has to keep somethings to herself."

"No Jake, It's alright." She stares at me with a pointed smile. "Ryder knows how important it is for sisters to keep each others secrets. Right Ryder?"

I feel tears stinging in my eyes. She's going to hold that over my head forever. I grab my laptop off of the table and mechanically make my way over to the stairs. "You're truly a despicable person." I hiss at her as I walk by. Paul reaches for my hand but I shove past him. "Get out f my house!" I say before slamming my door and going downstairs to lay in my bed and cry.

**What do you think Ryder's secret is? Leave a comment.**

**Also. I lost the password...and username to my instagram account, so I made a polyvore account (tradeallmytomorrows) for all of the clothes from this story.**

**Also (another one) I'm making a poll on my page of who you guys think Ryder is going to end up with) That poll should be up before the next chapter, but i'm not sure when. Ryders romantic life literally depends on your votes... No pressure.**

**Alright guys, that's about it. Stay flawless.**


	6. On the boulevard of broken dreams

_**On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams**_

* * *

><p><strong>Warning! Mentions of self harm. Don't read if you're sensitive to triggers. I want all of you to know that if you ever need anyone to talk to, my DM box is always open.<strong>

The next morning I am in complete auto pilot mode, the only thought running through my mind is 'Just keep moving'. I don't know if that mean just stay awake or just stay alive, but either way I've gotta keep it together. I roll out of bed and walk silently up the stairs. I woke up early just to avoid the rest of my family.

I look at myself in the mirror. Dried tears and make up cover my face, My eyes are bloodshot and puffy, My hair is a tangled mess after a long night of tossing and turning.

I sigh and turn on the shower as hot as it will get. As the water heats up, I peel off the oversize tee shirt that I slept in. The white cotton is stained red. But that isn't the worst part. My hips hold angry slash marks and dried blood is stuck to my hips and thighs.

I almost cry again looking at the state of my body. I was doing better. One year. I had went a whole year with out _wanting _or _needing _those razor blades, Yet one night with Bella, and I'm a mess.

I climb straight under the water, hissing as he boiling water touches my skin. I grab my body-wash and loofah and begin scrubbing my skin takes almost fifteen minutes for the swirls of blood and makeup to leave the water.

I get out of the shower and wrap myself in a thick cotton towel before trudging back to my room, glad to see that everyone is still sleeping.. I dig my first aid kit from the bottom of my underwear drawer. I hadn't even brought it to phoenix with me because I didn't think I'd ever need it again. Actually, I was hoping that I'd never have to use it again.

I shut my door and lock it before sitting on my bed and laying out all the materials in the kit. I sigh, they aren't as deep as I thought, though one of them is a little farther in than the rest of them, I won't need stitches. I don't know how I would explain that to dad.

I rub the area down with rubbing alcohol and cotton balls, hissing as it touches the deepest one, which trails from hip bone to hip bone. I wrap my hips tightly with gauze before sighing and mechanically getting ready for school.

It only takes me about an hour to get ready, including brushing my teeth, hair, and putting on makeup. I grab my school bag and my umbrella before exiting the house quickly, I want to be gone before everyone else wakes up, I truly can't deal with anyone right now... Well almost anyone.

I finish the short, mile long walk to the Wilson sisters new town house in about fifteen minutes. Elysium and Asphodel Wilson have been my two best friends since second grade, we've been through hell and back with and for each other.

I don't bother knocking on the door, instead choosing to get the spare key, which was buried slightly in the dirt of a potted plant. "Only Asphodel Wilson could pick such a ridiculous hiding spot." I mutter to myself, unlocking the door.

I immediately step into the living room. The walls are painted pristine white and soft beige carpet is on the floor, I take off my white converse knowing how anal Elysium is about keeping her floors clean.

On the wall to the right of the door is a large window behind a TV sitting on a little stand.

The large open space is divided by a black leather three section couch with beige cushions and red, brown, and beige throw pillows. On the wall above the couch is a picture of the Wilson twins at their eighteenth birthday party. Identical twin girls, rich ivory skin, straight light blonde hair, and sparkling blue eyes. The wear matching outfits, as the often do: Long sleeved black jersey dresses and black pumps. Asphodel sits on Elysiums lap, her legs hang over the arm of the chair. Elysium smiles as her sister kisses her on the cheek.

I have to admit, I'm more than a little jealous of the Wilson's relationship. Del always say that she was born with a built in best friend, meanwhile me and my twin can't even sit in the same room without trying to slaughter each other mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Behind the couch is the dining room area which is equally as simple. a black table is in the center with six chairs around it. Asphodel made a bouquet of black, pink, and zebra print roses and put them in a black vase in the center of the table. No light filters through the black curtains on the window in the dining room or living room.

The entire left wall is painted a smooth cherry red. Right next to the front door is a short hallway with two white doors. The one on the right leads to a small coat closet, where I sit down my book bag and umbrella.

Asphodel is the princess out of the two twins, and her bedroom shows just walls are white and the carpet is soft beige material under my feet. The wall across from the door holds a large window with shrimp pink curtains.

The wall adjacent to the one with the door holds her king sized bed. Over it is the pink chandelier fixture she had installed before they moved into the house. The silk headboard is the same shade of pink as the curtains, with black trims around it, and a cursive D sewn into the material. The bed is made perfectly with pink sheets, and white and pink blankets. I smile when I see the teddy bear I had given her for her eighteenth birthday sitting proudly on her bed. I bought it because its little tiara and sash reminded me of her.

The white bedside table holds her crystal lamp. I reach under the pink shade and switch off the lamp. Al and D's biggest problem is Del and her lack of caring about conservation since Elysium is really environmentally aware.

The little pink love seat next to the nightstand holds her dream book. A book where she has written down all of her goals and aspirations. Get married, start a family, things of that nature.

Since Asphodel wasn't in her room, I went to Elysiums, Which was through the small kitchen and up a flight of stairs.

Elysiums bedroom is larger than Asphodels, but her bathroom was smaller than her sisters, so I guess they compromised. Thats another thing the Wilson's can do that me and Bella can't. Compromise. In our house, It's Bella's way or... Bella's way.

Elysiums room is designed exactly like Asphodels except hers is black and white instead of pink. On her nightstand is a picture of me and the twins. It was taken about two years ago. I managed to convince Dad to take Elysium, Asphodel, and I to California with him and Bella instead of going to Phoenix with mom.

We got some guy to take the picture of us being idiots: Elysium in the middle riding a bicycle wearing a purple under wire bikini top, true religion shorts (which she borrowed from me and never gave back) and huge studded sunglasses, her hair blows behind her and she bites her lip, trying to focus on not falling off the bike.

Asphodel is on a skate board to Elysiums right. She holds onto the back of her sisters bike, trying not to bust her ass. She grins while staring at the ground, managing to keep her balance. I think dad had a heart attack when he saw her leave the hotel in her Agent Provocateur Mazzy pink and black swimsuit and black booty shorts. Asphodel is technically the oldest of the three of us, but she acts and is treated like the baby.

I squat down on my skateboard, also holding onto E's bike. The picture was taken a few weeks before I died my hair, so dark brown hair flows behind Twist Bandeau Bikini and white jeans, plus a full day of laying in the sun, made me look tanner than usual, and the smile on my face makes me look like a different person all together.

I shake my heads. I guess friends truly are people you can sit and be stupid with.

As expected, the twins are both strung over Elysiums bed. Elysium wears a black H&M lace dress and black christian louboutin heels, which she probably got from her aunt Misty. Asphodel has on a tye dye galaxy print skater dress and her heels are thrown lazily on the floor. They still have full faces of makeup on.

It isn't abnormal for the Wilson's to go out and party all weekend and then barely manage to stumble into the house early Sunday morning. It also isn't abnormal for me to fuck with them while their hungover.

"MS. WILSON YOU MUST BE WORTH A TRILLION BUCKS! I GET THE FEELING THAT YOU DON'T REALLY GIVE A FUCK!" I bounce up and down on the bed singing the White Chicks theme song.

"Ryder!" Elysium groans into the pillow. "Shut the fuck up."

"ARE YOU HUNG OVER?" I scream laughing a little. Whats he point of having best friends if you can't torture them a little.

"ugh. Ryder what time is it?" Asphodel asks covering her eyes with her hands. I pull my phone out of my back pocket while bouncing.

"Um... five forty si-" I can't finish speaking due to Elysium grabbing my leg, causing me to fall backwards. I hiss slightly when my hip hits the bed.

"If you ever wake me up three hours early ever again, I'm going to rip you tongue out and choke you with it."

I start laughing at Elysium when I hear footsteps downstairs."Is someone downstairs?" I ask slightly panicked.

"Dean." Elysium mutters simply before burying her face back in the pillow. "Turn off the light." She says, knowing that I was about to make my way downstairs.

**SO... This chapter is either early or late depending on how you look at it. I really have no excuse for this not being out six days ago other than the fact that I didn't finish it until five minutes ago... Sorry.**

**Also, I know not much happens in this chapter but I needed to set up the Wilson sisters, because my next story Young Volcanoes is going to be a spin off of sorts about the Wilson sisters.**

**Who do you think Dean is, those of you (none of you) who've voted already know.**

**I updated the polyvore site with all the outfits so far so check that out ( tradeallmytomorrows . polyvore ) No spaces**

**PS. I used to live in the house that I described for the wilsons. **


	7. Where the city sleeps

_**Where the city sleeps**_

_***Contains underage drinking***_

_***mentions of a lesbian(ish) relationship. Don't like it don't read it.**_

I move quickly down the stairs and, true to the swan nature, trip over my feet as I get to the bottom stair, almost busting my face on the linoleum tiled kitchen floor. Luckily, just before my face hit the floor, a strong hand grips my arm and steadies me back to my feet.

"Whoa there princess, Walk much lately?" Dean drawls with a smirk. Me and the Wilson's met Dean a couple years back, He had came to Forks with his little sister to visit their moms best friend Misty Mallory, who is Lauren Mallory's mother and The Wilsons aunt.

Misty isn't really... all there. She drinks from sun up to sun down, takes every drug that there is to take, and dresses like a twenty one year old hooker instead of a forty five year old mother, which would explain why her daughter is a complete bitch to put it nicely.

"You know clumsy runs in the family." I say with a nervous chuckle. While I'm not as cripplingly off balance as Bella, I do tend to loose my balance when I'm nervous. And Dean Ambrose definitely knows how to make me nervous.

He simply chuckles and takes his coffee cup in his hands. "Come to the back porch, I need a smoke." I roll my eyes but follow him through the back door located in the dining room, to the small concrete patio which over looked a little pond. The rain seemed to have let up for the time being.

"Those things are gonna kill you." I say matter of factly as he lights the cancer stick and puts it in between his lips. He chuckles like I had told him the most hilarious joke ever.

"Baby girl, If anything is going to take out Dean Ambrose, It's going to be Dean Ambrose. Not some tobacco stuffed tube." He says taking a deep drag. Dean can be a bit dramatic and well... crazy at times but honestly he might be right. Dean lives the most dangerous lifetime possible. He's just about the only person who would hold a hardcore wrestling match with glass, barbed wire, and tables in his back yard. So yes, Dean might just kill himself before his smoking and drinking get a chance to.

"So," He says after a slight pause. "How ya been kid." _Kid _the nickname never ceases to remind me that Dean is a little under four years older than me.

"I've been... good." I say forcing a fake smile. Dean rarely comes to visit ever since he began working at insanity pro wrestling. I don't want to waste what little time I see him, telling a sob story. I can see it in his face that he doesn't believe me.

He sighs, "Come here kid." He says pulling me into a tight hug. I immediately begin braking down in his warm embrace. There's not many people that I would cry in front of, But Dean always has this affect on me.

I sob into his shoulder for what feels like forever. He just strokes my hair and rocks me, telling me its going to be okay. When I finally pull away, I sniffle and wipe my hands with my face with my hands, good thing the Forks weather requires water proof makeup or I would be a mess right now.

I blush slightly when I look into his eyes. "Sorry, I've been a little off for the last week." I say looking at the ground. He sits down on the ground pulling me with him. He throws an arm over my shoulder.

"Come on, Tell Dean whats the matter."

I take a deep breath and start talking. Telling him everything from the time that I left Forks to after I came back. As I speak, my chest starts to lighten a little bit.

"Well I'm sorry to hear that." He says taking a drag from his cigarette and a sip of coffee.

"Don't be, I'll be fine." I hear the determination leaking in my voice. "Thanks for listening."

"No problem, What else are big brothers for." He says nudging my shoulder and turning and heading back into the house.

Yeah. Big brother...

* * *

><p>About an hour later the twins come stumbling downstairs still in their party outfits from the night before. Dean laughs. "Wild night ladies?" Elysium flips him off and continues rummaging through the refrigerator.<p>

El has never been a morning person and her hangover can not be helping. Asphodel on the other hand...

She bounces down the stairs, high heels in hand. "Hey guys!" She says bubbly, hugging Dean and kissing me on my cheek.

I blush deeply. Me and Asphodel have an extremely weird relationship. We dated for a few months right before I left Forks, as a matter of fact we broke up about a week before I went back to Phoenix.

My relationship with Asphodel was a social experiment for me. Unlike Asphodel, who's bisexuality had led her into various relationships with both genders, I had never dated a girl before. She was what was fun at the moment, she was my Mrs. Right Then.

* * *

><p><em>Flashback Lauren Mallory's 18th birthday<em>

_"Ugh, I don't want to be here!" I whine. The twins were dragging me to their cousins birthday party for god knows why. They don't even like their cousin so what the hell is the point in us coming. _

_"Oh C'mon!" Asphodel says wrapping an arm around my waist. She was always the affectionate one out of the twins, always hugging or touching someone, but I had started to notice it more in the last weeks._

_I figured it was just because her last boyfriend, Mike newton, had dumped her to explore other things... like the rest of the cheerleading team. She was probably just bored with being single._

_After about two hours at the party I got tired of dancing, drinking, and watching Misty falling over drunk. _

_I push and shove my way through the crowds of people until I finally manage to get out of the house and into the front yard. I'm surprised to see Asphodel sitting at the edge of the drive way with her feet in the street._

_"Hey, Superstar." I say sitting down next to her with my legs crossed. "Why aren't you inside with all of the other idiots?" I ask nudging her with my shoulder._

_She giggles. "I was over the party right around the time Aunt Misty, who can't touch her toes when she's sober, started doing the splits." We laugh together.__We pass a bottle of gin back and forth for a while and eventually we're both a little buzzed._

_"Can I tell you something?" She asked, her voice is slurred and I can smell the alcohol on her breath. I nod, taking a long drink from the bottle. If my dad or any other officer would have drove by, I would have been screwed. "You're really pretty."_

_The seriousness of hr statement made me laugh. I lean back holding myself up on my elbows. "Really? I threw this out-" A drunken hiccup interrupts my sentence. "Fit on." I finish._

_"NO!" Asphodel screams jumping on my. She straddles my wait and her face is only a few inches from mine. "It's not the outfit. You're beautiful." With that she connected her lips with mine._

* * *

><p>After that, things were in full swing with us. It didn't feel like I was in a relationship, It was just like having a bestfriend who I occasionally f- got into compromising situations with.<p>

It was easier dating Asphodel but, as we tended to do, we eventually got bored with each other. We never officially broke up, we just started fading from Dating back to Friends and I was okay with that, even when she introduced me to her new boyfriend,Tony.

A sharp whistle, Which causes Elysium to groan, cuts me out of my thoughts. "Earth to Ryder!" Asphodel says with a laugh. "Damn I know I'm hot, but there's no need to stare so hard." It wasn't until she mentioned it, that I noticed I was staring at her. I shake myself out of my thoughts with a small chuckle to myself.

"Sorry, I was thinking." I say simply. "What were you saying?"

"No, We had no idea."Asphodel says, moving Elysium, who seems to have started to nod off in the refrigerator. "I asked if you were hungry." She asks going through the refrigerator.

"No, I'm fine." I say perching myself on a counter with Dean standing next to me.

"Have you eaten today?" She asks raising an eyebrow at me.

"No, but-"

"Well then you're fucking hungry." She doesn't give me much room to argue as she throws two more strips of bacon into the sizzling hot frying pan. But then again, she never really has given me a chance to argue with her about something, Neither of the twins do.

I roll my eyes and lay back, stretching out on the counter and closing my eyes. "So, Red bird. How you been? I feel like we literally haven't seen you in twelve years." Red bird, phoenix, get it? Neither do I.

I roll my eyes again. "It's only been a year and a half but it does feel like it was longer. I guess it was okay there but I guess you already heard about my mom..." I say drifting off. Elysium looks down.

"Um, yeah." Elysium says. "One of Bella's friends, Ben I think, told us that Bella was going to be out for a week. We agreed to get her work for her and take it to your house." Bella's going to be out for a week? My day has just gotten slightly better.

"You doing okay bae?" Asphodel asks. She has moved on from the bacon and has started frying eggs. Dean puts his hand on my knee calmingly.

"I'm... Fine." I can tell none of them believe me but no one speaks on it.

"Well kids," Asphodel says turning off the stove and getting plates out of the cabinet. "Breakfast is ready, make your on plates, I gotta go change."

* * *

><p><strong>What is sleep<strong>


	8. And I'm the only one and I walk alone

**__**And I'm the only one and I walk alone**__**

* * *

><p>After a long ride in Deans old pick-up truck, me and the Wilson's arrive at school just as the ten minute bell rings. "You kids be good at school okay?" Dean asks with a smirk. The twenty-two year old bastard was getting way too much joy from this. I roll my eyes and tell the three a quick 'see you later' as the twins head to class and Dean pulls out of the parking lot to do whatever the hell he does.<p>

I take a deep breath and put on a fake smile before opening the door to the office. "Hey, Ma!" I yell to Ms. Hooch as I walk into the office. She grins, which can't be hard considering her bun is so tight it hard her face pulled into a forced smile at almost all hours of the day. Her eyes light up when she sees me and she quickly comes around the desk.

"RYDER!" She says pulling me in a tight hug, the top of her head only coming up to my shoulder."Oh I've missed you." She says with one last squeeze. I know it's weird, but teachers love me. See, I have spent most of my time for the last twelve years of my life doing homework, extra credit, signing up for clubs, and doing volunteer work. It has nothing to do with me wanting to do any of that crap, everything with me wanting to get into Julliard.

"So how are you doing love?" She says going back behind the desk and starting to gather some of my paper work. "I heard about... What happened." Her voice drifts off slowly.

I sigh. The people in this town have nothing better to do except gossip and complain abut the weather. "I'm as good as I'll ever be, I guess." I say with a shrug not meeting her eyes. She clears her throat and moves on to a better topic.

"Anyway, I've got your schedule here, Hon. Don't worry I made sure you got the absolute best classes for your last semester in high school." She says passing me my new schedule. I quickly eye it over.

"Have I told you I love you recently?!" I yell looking at my schedule. She placed me in the greatest classes that I could imagine for my last semester. AP English with Mrs. Polincio, who's loved me ever since ninth grade since I was the only freshman who was able to tell her the the difference between a monologue, a soliloquy, and an aside.

My next class was AP calculus which I hate, But the teacher, Mr. Crowning, is not only gorgeous but he lets me eat and listen to music, so I guess it's not that bad.

After that I have A lunch meaning that the cafeteria wont be as crowded and they still will have Fanta in the cooler and blueberry muffins. After lunch I have a free period before I go to creative writing class with Mr. Martin, No one ever signs up for that class so its usually on like six people and he basically lets us do what we want.

I finally head to performing arts at the end of the day. Thats the one class a day that I really care about, so I go out of my way to show up early every day and work my ass off.

Ms. Hooch grins. "Don't you worry about it dear, you know I've got your back. Oh and speaking of it." She passes me a stuffed yellow envelope from the desk. I raise an eyebrow. "Extra curricular and club flyers. I worked it out so you could do all of the ones in that packet and still make it home before 8." Julliard. Julliard. Julliard. You're doing this for Julliard.

"Thanks, Ms. Hooch. I really should be getting to class. Don't wanna be late on my first day back.

"Have a good day honey."

* * *

><p>First period with Mrs. Polincio is amazing as expected<p>

Mrs. Polincio hugged me when I walked in and sat me next to a red headed girl named Thalia, who was pretty cool. We sat in the back of the class working on the assignment (decorating our journals) we'd been given and laughing at the other kids in the class. "What the hell did she think would happen if the put glitter glue in her hair?" She asks as we watch this girl named Jessica desperately trying to declump her hair.

* * *

><p>Mr. Crowning is absent second period and the sub lost the lesson plans, so we all just sat around and did nothing.<p>

I used the free time to go through the packet of extra curricular. As expected, Ms. Hooch had managed to work it so that my day is completely filled between the hours of eight- thirty am and 8 o'clock pm.

Everyday during my supposed free period during lunch I have to be at Spanish club for forty minutes and Student Government for thirty minutes.

After school I have another student government meeting from three-thirty until four thirty. From four-thirty five until six, I (unfortunately) have dance practice, and finally from six to eight I have public service which is basically student government with trash bags.

So, I'm going to be ridiculously busy everyday for the next 130 days. Julliard. Julliard. Julliard.

* * *

><p>I sit with the Wilson's at lunch, as well as their new friend, ironically named Phoenix. I don't really want to eat, but Asphodel, almost literally, forces half a sandwich, Doritos, and a grape fanta down my throat. "I'm almost one hundred percent sure that was assault!" I say after swallowing the last bit of food.<p>

"Well you would never eat anything at all if I didn't force you." I don't miss the warning look Elysium gives her sister, or the quiet thud of her swiftly kicking Asphodel in the shin. Thats a touchy subject and Asphodel knows it.

"I ate this morning with out you forcing me." I say taking a gulp from the fanta just to prove a point.

"Only because I made you a delicious plate of eggs and that tofu bacon shit that you love so much." I roll my eyes but don't say anything.

"Oh leave the girl she doesn't want to eat she shouldn't be forced to." Phoenix says with a smile.

"Thanks."

"No problem, Besides, Its not like you really need any more meat on your bones?" Excuse me. The only person I take that shit from is my sister for various reasons, One:She has information about me. And the second reason, basically the only thing I respect about her, Bella is the only one brave enough to talk shit about me to my face.

Before I have the chance to blow up on her like I so desperately want to Elysium nudges me just as my phone vibrates. I check my phone to see that it's a text from her.

**Ellie my baby:**

Calm down. Thts jst how she is.

I send her a quick text back while shooting a death glare at Phoenix.

**Wild Ryde:**

i don't give a fuck how she is. She needs to watch her gd mouth

**Ellie my baby:**

i no, she's annoying as fuck, But D likes her so be nice.

**Wild Ryde:**

whatever g2g, gotta get 2 spanish

* * *

><p><strong><em><em><strong>As you can probably tell I really don't do such a good job at keeping a schedule...<strong>__**

**__**¯\_(ツ)_/¯ **__**


	9. I walk alone, I walk alone

_**I walk alone, I walk alone**_

* * *

><p>Spanish Class, to put it nicely, El fucking cosa más aburrida que he experimentado. The class is spent with the new Spanish teacher La señora López yelling at us in Spanish. Apparently today was her first day teaching in Forks, since the last Spanish teacher, Senora Martinez, went out on maternity leave right before winter break.<p>

After about twenty minutes in a room filled with idiots, I can't take it any more. "Can I go to the bathroom"

"Por que?" Did this bitch seriously just ask me why I need to go to the bathroom? It's teachers like this that make me seriously consider dropping out and becoming a stripper.

"Because I have to use the restroom." Juilliard.

"En español!" She demands. Bitch you have got to be fucking kidding me! I will pee on your damn desk... Of course I didn't say that out loud.

"Puedo, por favor vaya al baño, la Señora López." I say trying not to roll my eyes. She seems surprised that I just perfectly pronounced a sentence in Spanish. Seems she's forgotten that, not only do most seniors take three years of Spanish, But also that I'm one third Latin american on my mothers side. At the thought of my mother, my grandmother, and my Abuelo, who I call papi, I have to bite back Lopez passes me a bathroom pass and I quickly leave the room.

Once in the bathroom I check all the stalls to make sure I was here alone. Once I confirmed that I was indeed alone, I sit against the door and pull out my phone, dialing the ever familiar number. It rings three times before he picks up.

"The caller ID says my little jinete is calling but I know that can't be true because she never calls her old grandpa."

"Hey, Papi. Yeah it's me."

"Well I guess it must be grandparent appreciation day, I just got off the phone with your sister." I feel the door press against my back as someone trys to get into the bathroom.

"Hold on one second."I tell papi as I stand up and move away from the door. A pretty girl with black pixie cut hair.

"Sorry." I say quickly exiting the bathroom and into the bathroom. I leave the building and begin walking towards the office.

As I'm walking I begin thinking back to one of the last times I went over to Papi's house.

* * *

><p><em>Flashback: June 17, 2000 (AN:this story takes place in 2008)<em>

_Eight years ago my ten year old self danced in the hot sun in the backyard of my grandparents California beach house with my grandfather. Bella, who couldn't go to Forks since dad had developed a case of the flu, sits under the large palm tree reading the book grandma had given her earlier that morning, Wuthering Heights._

_"Alright!" Grandma yelled out of the kitchen window. "Time for you three children to come in and eat dinner!" Papi paused the music._

_"Oh come on, Miel! Twenty more minutes?" He whines, the old man had the adorable mindset of an eight year old child instead of a full grown man._

_"Y'all have been out there for two hours! The poor girls feet are gonna fall off."_

_"I just wanna teach the girl a little about her culture." He lowers his voice. "You're gonna have to know a little about buena ole México surrounded by all of these los blancos."_

_"The white people can hear you!" Grandma yelled as mom laughed. "Now get in her before I'm forced to kill you in front of you grand-babies, bien?"_

_"Maldita sea , no puedo hacer mierda en esta casa." He grumbled as we all walk into the house._

_This was back in the time when my mother thought it was adorable to dress me and Bella in matching outfits, floral spaghetti strapped shirts, white denim shorts, and white converses. Me and Bella didn't particularly enjoy each others presence back then either, but that was more of a sibling rivalry, Nothing like the hatred we display now. But we were willing to get over our annoyance with the outfits and each other for the sake of our grandparents._

* * *

><p>That was the last family dinner we had at our grandparents house. The next year, right before our sixth grade classes went on summer vacation, my dad came and picked me up from school. I knew something was wrong, Dad never took off work early to take me home unless I was sick.<p>

He took my to my favorite pizza place and got my favorite pizza before taking me to the store and buying all my favorite flavors of ice cream, enough to stock the entire freezer, I was confused as to why he was doing this, until we got home.

* * *

><p><em>Flashback- June 7, 2009<em>

_We sat down at the table and silently ate pizza. It wasn't until we were completely finished that he cleared his throat. "Um, Why don't you sit down for a minute, Doll." He says. I furrow my eyebrows together._

_"Daddy? What are you talking about? I am sitting down." He blinks slowly, like the realization that I hadn't ever gotten up from the table took him by surprise._

_"Oh, Right. Well doll, There's no easy way to tell you this. First off I want you to know that you didn't do anything wrong, There was nothing you did or didn't do that might have caused this okay?" I nod my head slowly, confused and a little scared._

_"I'm sorry to tell you this baby, But this morning while you were at school," He sucks in a breath. "Grandma passed away."_

_I remember blinking slowly trying to process the words he had just told me. "What?" Tears started streaming down my face faster than I could stop them. "NO!"_

_He pulls me into his lap and I cry into his shoulder. "Why daddy, Why? Grandma shouldn't have died. She always did the right thing!"_

_"Baby, Grandma was a very good person, She was just very old, and now she's in a better place._

* * *

><p>I shake the memory out of my head as I walk into the main office. "Ma, Can you call Senorita Lopez and tell her I can't come back to class." Like the awesome person that she is, she picks up the phone and begins dialing. I thank her and walk outside.<p>

"Papi, You still there?" I ask the old man who had gone silent.

"Yeah baby, Papi's still here."

"You said that Bella called you earlier."

"Yeah," He says with a sigh. "She told me that you two weren't getting along and that you were being a well... perra." Typical Isabella Marie Swan, She doesn't get her way in even the slightest bit, and she goes and whines and makes it look like she's the victim.

"If anyone's a bitch, It's her!"

"Really Jinete, Really?" He asks, I can just imagine him shaking his head on the other side of the phone. "Are you two still having this same power struggle?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. You two have been at each others throats for as long as I can remember. Every time one of you does something good the other has to do something better, every time one of you does something bad the other has to lord it over their head forever."

"Papi, It's not me. It's her. She just can't let me be happy, She hates me."

"Can't see you happy? Kind of like when you were six and she ripped the head off of your barbie doll and flushed it down the toilet.

"A little more extreme now, But basically just like that."

"Well since you remember that, I hope you also remember super gluing her toothbrush to the inside of that very same toilet a week later."

"But-"

"No buts! After that point you two just kept going and kept fighting until she finally got the upper hand on you sometime last year. I don't know what you did, I don't care what you did, but I do know whatever it was it's not worth you completely ignoring your sister!"

"You know what, I don't want to talk to you if you're just going to take her side without even knowing the full story." I say, Angrily hanging up the phone before he can respond.

I go back in the office an without a word grab the sign out sheet and a pen. "You going home sweety?" Mrs. Hooch asks.

"Yeah."

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes." I say adjusting my book bag and leaving.

I dial deans number. It rings five times before he finally answers. "Hello?"

"Dean? Can you come get me."

"I'm at the gym."

"Please, Dean."

He sighs. "I'll be there in five minutes."

* * *

><p>Six minutes later I'm sitting in Deans car riding down the road. "You wanna go back to your house?" I shrug and continue to stare out of the window. I don't wanna go home, but I don't feel like going anywhere else either.<p>

It only takes about ten minutes to get back home. " Alright." Dean says putting the car in park. "Call me if you need me. Okay?" I nod. "You going to be over at the Wilson's tomorrow?" I shrug. "Well if not, Then I guess I'll see you next time I'm in town. Okay?" I nod and give him a hug over the center counsol.

"Bye,"

I don't give myself time to think anything over before I walk into my house, Because I know that if I allow myself to think, I'll jump right back into that car with Dean.

_You can't keep running._

I give Dean one last wave before entering the house, only to see Bella and Jacob making out on the couch. I noisily shut the door causing Bella to jump off of his lap. "Wow." I say scrunching my nose. "Glad to see you're putting your week off to good use."

Bella says "We got carried away," At the same time that Jacob begs, "Please don't tell Charlie!"

I just roll my eyes and survey them. "Glad to see you managed to put my new shirt to good use." I say looking at the blue North Face plaid shirt. "And my favorite jeans." I say noticing she also wore my favorite white high waisted jeans.

"All my clothes were dir-" Her phone ringing interrupts her sentence. I roll my eyes and walk downstairs to my room, taking off my book bag and flopping down on my bed.

**Ellie my baby- Yo, did you leave? **I look at the time on my phone. I It should be right in the middle of my student government meeting.

**Wild Ryde- Yea, btw can i borrow ur car at 3**

**Ellie my baby- Y nd 4 how long?"**

I roll my eyes. I should have asked Asphodel, Elysium is usually the stricter and, unfortunately, more responsible of the twins.

**Wild Ryde- I got xtra currics till 8**

**Ellie my baby- You wreck my car nd ill kill ur ass**

**Wild Ryde- Thnxs luv ya**

**Ellie my baby- mhm. **

**Wild Ryde- G2G Satan just walked n2 my room**

"Why are you-"

"WHERE THE HELL DO YO GET OFF BEING RUDE TO GRANDAD?" She yells. It's actually kid of funny when Bella gets angry. It's like a yorkie acting like a wolf, You aren't afraid of it, But you appreciate the effort.

"Where the hell do you get off barging into my room like a lunatic?"

"YOU KNOW WHAT? I AM SO SICK OF YOU ACTING ALL HIGH AND MIGHTY!"

"_YOU_ OF ALL PEOPLE ARE CALLING _ME_ HIGH AND MIGHTY?" I start getting angry, sliding off my bed and standing in front of her.

"YES! HIGH AND MIGHTY! YOU KNOW SOMETHING? WHEN YOU LEFT, DAD WAS HEARTBROKEN! BUT DID YOU CARE? NO. YOU COULDN'T SPARE A MINUTE OF YOUR DAY TO CALL AND CHECK ON HIM, YET YOU CAN UPDATE YOUR DAMN YOUTUBE CHANEL EVER SIX SECONDS. AND NOW THAT YOUR BACK ITS NO BETTER. YOU HAVEN'T SO MUCH AS TOLD DAD GOOD MORNING! WHY DON'T YOU GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND FINALLY REALIZE THAT EVERYTHING ISN'T ABOUT YOU!"

"YOU'RE ONE TO TALK, YOU BASICALLY IGNORED HIM FOR FIVE YEARS! AND FOR THE RECORD, I DID TALK TO HIM. I TALKED TO HIM THE TWO TIMES THAT HE CALLED ME TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHERE YOU WERE BECAUSE YOUR DUMB ASS HAD RUN OFF WITH SOME BOY WHO YOU WERE SO IN LOVE WITH!"

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!"

"I KNOW HE'S NOT HERE ANYMORE, YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE HE FINALLY REALIZED WHAT A TERRIBLE FUCKING BITCH YOU ARE!" The words are barely out of my mouth when a hard slap comes across my cheek and causes me to fall to the ground. I look up to see Jacob holding Bella's arms and pulling her towards the stairs.

"YOU BITCH!" I yell lunging at her. I begin letting out years worth of aggression on her and I think I can say the same for Bella. I punched and kicked every area of skin that I could find, meanwhile she is clawing at my face, shoving her knee into my gut, and yanking at my hair. After about five minutes of this, Jake finally manages to pry me off and drag Bella, kicking and screaming, halfway up the stairs.

"I HATE YOU!" She screams.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND! I HOPE YOU GET AN STD!"

Suddenly she stops kicking, calmly stands up, and looks down the stairs, directly in my eyes. "An STD would be better than a baby, and probably easier to get rid of. Though... you are the expert."

* * *

><p><strong>~AUTHORS NOTE~<strong>

** if you on't get the last paragraph, sorry, I had no idea how to write that out. **

** , I know a lot was going on in this chapter, Sorry if it was difficult to keep up with. **

** translations are below.**

**4. Finally, and most importantly, Would whoever put the curse on my comment section please lift it.**

* * *

><p><strong>El fucking cosa más aburrida que he experimentado- The most boring fucking thing I've ever experianced<strong>

**La señora López- Mrs. Lopez**

**En español-In spanish**

**Puedo, por favor vaya al baño, la Señora López- Can I please go to the restroom, Mrs. Lopez**

**Abuela-Grandmother**

**Abuelo-Grandfather**

**jinete-Rider**

**Miel- Honey**

**buena ole México- Good ole Mexico**

**los blancos-White people**

**Bien- Okay**

**Maldita sea , no puedo hacer mierda en esta casa.-Dammit, I can't do shit in this house.**

**perra- bitch**


	10. shadows the only 1 that walks beside me

_**My shadow's the only one that walks beside me**_

* * *

><p><strong><em>Suddenly she stops kicking, calmly stands up, and looks down the stairs, directly in my eyes. "An STD would be better than a baby, and probably easier to get rid of. Though... you are the expert."<em>**

_Flashback New Years Eve 2006_

* * *

><p><em>"WOOO!" I yell, Holding my red plastic cup over my head. I didn't know what was in the cup, but that didn't matter at the time. Thinking back on it, There where a lot of things that I didn't know but I should have tried a little harder to learn<em>

_For starters, I didn't know whose party I was even at. One of Asphodels friends from the Makah reservation invited us to her best friends New Years Eve party.__But I wasn't worried about little things like that. I was dancing on a table when my heel slipped out from under me and I tumbled towards the ground. "Woah!" I'm pulled to my feet by a guy._

_He had dark brown hair with bangs that cover one of his bright blue eyes,evenly tanned skin, The left side of his bottom lip has a silver lip ring. He wears a Green Day tee shirt and black skinny jeans and combat boots. __I blush. "Thanks, I swear I'm not usually this off balanced." I say with a small laugh._

_He smiles flashing extremely white teeth. "One to many drinks?"_

_"Try two to many stilettos." I say sliding off my heels. "Oh god that feels good." I say holding both of my heels in one hand. The guy laughed. _

_We stood there and talked for a while and in that time I found out that his name was Nate. He was pretty cool, we liked a lot of the same music, and had a lot of the same hobbies.  
><em>

_"Oh!" I exclaim grabbing his hand as Don't cha by the Pussycat Dolls begins playing, still stumbling a little bit. "I love this song. Nate! Come dance with me. C'mon!"_

_"I'm coming!" He laughs as I pull him onto the dance floor. We start off dancing to the beat with me singing along to the words, that eventually evolves to us just grinding against each other. The music stops all of sudden.  
><em>

_The guy who was holding the party stood on a table and with a megaphone. "Ten seconds to midnight! 6...5...4...3...2...1... Happy New Year!" Noise makes and screams filled the house. Nate grabs my face and pulls me into a kiss, much like everyone else in the room._

* * *

><p><em>The next morning I woke up confused with a pounding headache.I was laying in a bed so I figured I must have somehow snuck back into my room. As I roll over I feel cotton sheets rub up against me. 'Am I naked?"When I roll over, What I see almost makes me scream. Nate is laying in the bed next to me, also naked. What the fuck did I do?<em>

_I quickly get out of the bed and try to get my barrings about me as I pull on my short, strapless, chiffon red dress from the night before and my black pumps. I run out of the room as quietly as i can before searching through the masses of passes out, hung over teenagers, in search of the two idiots that I came with._

_I find Elysium first. She is at the kitchen table passed out, though she doesn't look too worse for wear. She sits hunched over in her chair with her head on her arm, Her dark makeup is smudged all over her face, and her hair, which she straightened perfectly the night before, is frizzy and sweaty. I don't understand how her purple and black dress is still perfect ( no stains, tears, or embarrassing slip or rise accidents) but it is._

_I wake her up and usher her outside, taking her to the car that their dad got them for their sweet sixteen. I buckle her into the passengers side seat where she promptly goes back to sleep._

_I find Asphodel knocked out in a bush. she looks almost exactly the same way her sister had except her hair is a little wilder and the black skirt of her dress had risen revealing her purple lace underwear to everyone. __I basically drag her to the car and throw her into the backseat._

_After dropping the twins and their car off at the Mallory house, I walk back home, crying a little along the way. I sneak into the house through the window well, glad to see that dads car wasn't in the driveway. I had locked my door the night before just in case dad tried to check on me throughout the night._

_I manually strip out of my party dress, heels, and jewelry, putting on my robe and grabbing some clean clothes. I go quietly up the stairs. Dad usually sleeps pretty soundly on his days off, but that I still wanted to be extra careful not to wake him up._

_I showered and got dressed in about twenty minutes, all the while trying to pretend that everything was normal. Trying to pretend that everything was okay._

* * *

><p><em>2 months later<em>

_This can't be happening. This can't be happening. This is fucking happening._

_I repeat this mantra in my head repeatedly, hoping that this will somehow change things. Dean, the twenty one year old I had met about a year and a half ago who was in town for the next two weeks, Sits on my bed holding the stick in shock._

_After about ten minutes Dean speaks up. "Pacing isn't going to change anything."  
><em>

_"Theres nothing to change. This is just one big mix up." I say trying to convince myself more than I'm trying to convince him_

_"You've taken seven tests. I think its time you face it sweetheart. You're pregnant." I fall to my knees and begin crying into my hands. Dean stands behind me patting my back and trying to tell me everything will be alright. "You'll be a good mom."_

_"No," I gasp at the words choking back tears. "I won't be. Dean, I've gotta get rid of it."_

* * *

><p>And that was it, Dean tried to talk me out of it but I had my mind made up. I had and still do have goals for my life and none of them include being just another teenage mommy living in a small town ffor the rest of her life.<p>

After gathering the courage, I called Bella and told her the situation. She agreed to send four hundred dollars out of her savings fund and told me not to worry about paying her back, I knew it wouldn't be that simple though, after all I was dealing with Isabella Swan. With her nothing is simple; Never has been, Never will be.

* * *

><p><strong>So um yeah...<strong>

**On the brightside I'm finally ahead on my writing so I should be back to updating every sunday.**


	11. Shallow hearts only thing that's beating

_**My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating**_

Angrily, I begin throwing things into my old sports duffle bag; clothes, my camera and stand, my laptop, and my phone and charger. I make sure that I scribble down a quick letter to dad before I leave, so that he doesn't panic and call in the swat team to investigate my kidnapping.

_Daddy,_

_Staying with the Wilson sisters, Don't know when I'll be back._

_I need to calm down or I'm going to kill your devil child, I'll call_

_You tonight.__Love you, Ryder_

I climb out of the window well, needing to avoid all contact with Bella. Just thinking her name made me want to run back inside and whoop her ass. I bite my lip trying to keep my cool and begin the trek to the Wilson's place. I'm halfway there when my phone rings.

"Hello?" I ask, despite not really wanting to hold a conversation with anyone at the moment. The number wasn't familiar nor was it saved in my phone.

"Yo," Two voices yell into the phone. "How ya doing Ryder, baby?"

"Who is this?" I ask with a sigh, not caring enough to pretend to care about anything right now.

"Aww, Baby. I'm so hurt that you don't remember me. I thought what we had was love!" His friend laughs in the background. I roll my eyes as I recognize the voices. Embry and Paul. I don't even bother to ask how they got my number.

"Look guys I'm really not in the mood right now." I say grinding my teeth together in aggravation.

"Oh we heard all about the little WWE, MMA scene that you pulled," Embry says with a laugh. "Jake's more than a little upset about you pounding on his girlfriend, although he swears held her own," He snorts, "But don't worry, We know you gave her everything she deserved."

"You got a face like barbie, but damn you can throw some hands girl."

"Rocky Balboa in a barbie body." Embry agrees. Their comments force me to laugh a little bit.

"Theirs something wrong with the two of you." I say with a small laugh. My anger was starting to subside, but my hands were still shaking a little bit.

"So where are you at now? You better not still be at that house, that is unless you _enjoy _getting put on trial for homicide." Embry asks.

"Nah, I'm walking to my friends house, and I might take their car back to school and catch my last few classes." I hear Paul snort.

"What type of person voluntarily goes back to school after freely escaping?"

"The type of person who is trying to get into the best music school in the United States."

"Whatever." Paul says, I could imagine him rolling his eyes. "Can you come down to La Push after school? We could all hang out on the beach, or something."

"Can't, I have extra curriculars until eight." At this point I have arrived at the Wilson's house, gotten the key, and have started walking in.

"Well what do you have planned for nine o'clock?" Paul asks, He sounds slightly annoyed now, Like I planned this, just to avoid hanging out with them.

"Nothing, I don't think." I say going over my day in my head. "Yup, I'm free at nine."

"Not anymore, We'll meet you on the beach at nine o'clock sharp." Paul says before hanging up. I groan. I'm really not in the mood to play nice today with two guys that I barely know.

I hear a shower running in the guest room bathroom,_ Dean must have gotten back from the gym early. _I ignore him and go into Asphodels bathroom, surveying the damage.

I sigh as I look at the mess of my hair and the claw marks on my face and chest. My sweater had also been torn in the process. _Is this bitch a fucking cat?_ I clean out all of the cuts, brush my hair, and rummage through Asphodels closet to find a new shirt, something that I don't feel bad about since there is a very good chance she took it from me to begin with, considering how well the plain black tee shirt fit.

By the time I leave Asphodel's room, Dean is also in the living room... Shirtless. This causes me to blush slightly. "H-Hey Dean." I stutter slightly. All that time that he's spent in the gym has done him well, I think, Looking at his well toned chest and abs.

"Are you having fun creeping on- What the hell happened to you?" He asks rubbing a thumb across one of the scratches on my face, making me hiss a little bit. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I say rolling my eyes. "I got into a fight with that psycho bitch I'm forced to call my sister."

"Is that why you're here?" He asks still furrowing his eyebrows together. I can tell he's really worried about me.

"Yup." I say running a hand through my hair. "I had to get out of that fucking house and I wanted to kill that bitch. I genuinely hate her more than I have ever hated anyone in my whole entire fucking life."

"It couldn't have been that bad, Tell me what happened." He almost demands.

"Well can we talk in the car? I gotta get back to school." I say looking at the clock to see it's two thirty, so I have fifteen minutes until performing arts class. He agrees, asking if I can take him _back_ to the gym, and we make our way to the garage, climbing into the car.

"So tell me what happened," Dean says as I back out of the garage. I realize that I'm definitely going to have to speed if I want to drop Dean off at the gym and make it to school on time.

"So basically, I get home to catch this bitch making out with her boyfriend while wearing _my_ clothes."

Dean rolls his eyes and I can sort of understand why. He knows that I wasn't mad about someone else wearing my clothes. its more of the lines of it being Bella. Everything she does annoys the ever living crap out of me.

"Anyway, I brushed that shit off and I went to my room. She comes downstairs and started screaming at me, I jumped up and started screaming, The bitch hit me.

All I remember after that is her scratching me and pulling my hair, and me hitting her in her face and her boyfriend pulling us apart. She gets halfway up the stair and hides behind her little boyfriend, Then the bitch wants to bring up my abortion." Dean sucks in a breath. "After that, as far as I'm concerned, I'm an only child. She is nothing more to me than a petty little bitch and if she tries to come at me again, I'm gonna kill her, and that's just the bottom line."

Dean sighs as we get to the gym. "Well, Baby girl. If you do end up killing her and go to jail, call me and I'll redirect you to a couple of guys from my old neighborhood, Their names are sneaky Pete and Fat Tony, their good guys- Well their good at what they do guys and they'll be able to get you out of any compromising situation you may happen to find yourself in."

I roll my eyes. "Shut up and get out so I can get to school." He laughs and climbs out, hitting the hood before heading inside the small gym. Deans really weird, I think beginning the five minute drive from the gym to the school, He's an absolute lunatic, but you can't really help but to love him.

* * *

><p>I get to school and sign back in, just in time to be five minutes late for preforming arts. I slide into a seat in the back of the theater. Mrs. Lacier whispers to me that we're putting on a musical modern day version of Romeo and Juliet in June so we were using the first week of class to watch a couple different versions. I, of course, didn't have a problem with watching movies instead of doing work. Plus Romeo is gorgeous.<p>

At the end of class, Asphodel comes up to me quickly. She was taking the class because, much like her sister and Dean, wants to be a professional wrestler, and while Dean and Elysium are more into the physical aspect of things, Asphodel is more into the performance side of things.

"Hey boo, I didn't think you'd come- What the hell happened." She asks, with the same facial expression that Dean had on not to long ago, I guess the scratches are worse than I thought.

"I got into a fight with Bella." I say leaving the classroom. She opens her mouth to say something else. "I'll tell you about it later. By the way, thanks for letting me stay at your house." She rolls her eyes. "Do you need your car?"

"Nah, Me and E are probably going to walk to the gym and then jog home." The Wilson's are insanely in shape. They're the type of people to run five miles as a warm up.

"Well I'll see you later than." I say waving goodbye to her and heading to student government.

* * *

><p><strong>This is being posted early because... <strong>

**QOTD: (Question of the day) (PS the way, I'm now doing questions of the day) (PPS This is really a question of the week because I only update once a week)**

**What is the last song that you listened to? Mine is Devils Choir by Black Veil Brides.**


	12. I wish someone out there will find me

_**Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me**_

I get to Mrs. Tio's classroom and sit in the very back. Student government is filled with the preppiest people in the school, and possibly the craziest. I mean, you've got to be a little insane to do things like bake six hundred cupcakes in two days or decorate the entire entire school in one night.

The members of student government has been almost the same for all four years that I've been in high school, and it only changes for a very few reasons:

One or two (at the most) freshman come into high school and think it will be amazing to get involved in their school, but they aren't athletic enough for any of the sports team and not nerdy enough for band so they join student government.

Eventually one or two seniors (who most likely entered freshman year and never left) graduate and leave behind both Forks high school and moves on to... Not exactly bigger or better things since most of them never leave Forks, But the point is they move on.

Sometimes very rarely the impossible will happen. Someone will actually decide to _move _to Forks, Washington. And whats a better way for a student to meet all of their peers other than joining student government... Plus student gov. is responsible for meeting new students on their first day and show them all their classes, and we do a pretty good job at shoving student government down their throats.

Anyway, I sit in the very back of the classroom with my Areopostale hood up. I try to blend into the wall and hide. Of course that doesn't last for longer than a minute and a half.

There's a tap on my shoulder and I look up to see the small pixie girl I had seen in the bathroom earlier. She's shorter than I thought, maybe four foot ten inches, if I'm rounding up. She's drop dead and reminds me of someone, Though I can't put my finger on it. She has an even complexion, she wears somewhat dark makeup which goes well with her pale skin tone and short cropped dark wears a really cute polar bear sweater, white jeans, grey ugg boots, and a white MCM stark bookbag.

"Hi!" She says in a bubbly voice with a huge smile. "I'm Alice Cullen." I look into her eyes and see their a deep butterscotch color and suddenly it clicks, She must be Edward's sister. "You must be Bella's sister." Her face falters for a small second when she says Bella's name. "Anyway, It's really nice to meet you."

"Thanks." I say, slightly confused as to how she just said that whole sentence without breathing. Shortly after, the meeting starts and, much to my discomfort, Alice pulls up a chair right next to me. Mrs. Tio dances into the room happily and perches herself cross legged on her desk.

Mrs. Tio is a free spirit with an amazing soul, fun personality, unique style, the heart of a starstruck small child,and she loves every living creature. In layman's terms, shes a hippie.

"What is she wearing!" Alice demands, stamping her foot in frustration. I honestly think Mrs. Tios' outfit is normal... Well normal for Mrs. Tio.

She wears a white kimono with a black belt on the waist, black and white tribal print leggings, clunky black platform boots, and a brown fringed satchel.

Mrs. Tio perches herself on her desk cross legged right between her vase of red roses and a bronze statue of Cosmo and Wanda, from the fairly odd parents. Mrs. Tio loves cartoons and basically every thing that has a target age range of six to eleven.

"Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello. Welcome back from winter break, I would like to give a special welcome back to Mrs. Ryder Swan, I hope you had a fun time back in Phoenix. Anyway we have a big big day today, because today is the day that we start planning our next dance, and we don't have much time because the principal decided to move the dance up to this Sunday, which gives us six day to plan. Now who has any ideas for themes?" She gasps out before catching her breath and looking around the room.

It takes us all a minute to process all of the things she just threw at us. Alice is the first one to put it all together. "We have to put the dance together in SIX DAYS?" Murmurs begin to go around the room. We've had to overcome harder challenges, but it still doesn't erase the anger that bubbles in the group when they disrespect us by randomly springing things on us.

"Settle down," Mrs. Tio says, holding her hand up for silence. "I understand you guys are upset, But lets just do this, okay." He all nod and she gives a huge grin,clapping her hands together. "Alright! Now, Themes?"

She goes around the classroom and allows each person to give an idea, which isn't hard since there is only ten of us.

Ben Crowley suggest a glow in the dark dance, Angela Weber comes up with an eighties themed dance, Martin Walsh wanted to do a dance based off of the movie avatar, Rocky came up with a masquerade ball, Julie wants to do a Vegas casino theme, ,Kevin wanted to do a spider man theme,Bertha picks a Hawaiian luau, and Sarah seconds on Kevins' spider man theme.

When it gets to me I throw out the first thing that I can think of. "Uh, How about we do a Hollywood theme?"

"Ooh, Yay! I like that one," Alice says from beside me. "I second that one!"

"Alright!" Mrs. Tio says jumping off of the desk and walking to her white board. She wrote Spiderman and Hollywood in two different columns. Long story short, Hollywood won eight to two.

"Alright, For the last forty minutes of this meeting I am going to leave and get supply and I will turn this meeting over to our student government president, Ms. Alice Cullen." I know Alice taking my place as president shouldn't bother me since I was gone for quiet a while, but it does.

Mrs. Tio leaves and Alice takes her place in the front of the classroom. "Okay, Lets just hurry up and get to work." She says happily.

"First things first, Ryder, since this was your idea and since you have more experience as president than I do, would you like to assist me in running this meeting." Nine pairs of eyes are all suddenly directed at me.

"Uh, Yeah. Sure, I guess." I stand up slowly and walk up to the front. I sit in Mrs. Tio's seat and put my feet on her desk.

"Alright, whats our game plan?" Alice asks, once again they all look at me.

"Well, First we definitely need to but out flyers around the school."

"So," Alice says turning to the others. "We need posters and flyers put out ASAP! Sarah, You're dad owns a printing company, they close in four hours. Do you think you can call him and see if you can 200 red and gold posters printed before nine?"

"Yeah I can text him now!" Sarah basically jumps out of her seat, she seams really desperate for Alice's approval.

Alice smiles. "Okay. Tell him I can pick everything up at seven o'clock am sharp! Ryder if you would help, We could get the flyers out before school." I nod, Pulling out my phone and setting an alarm.

"Rocky, Kevin, Do you guys think your dad could cater?"

"Not like he has anything else to do." Rocky mutters. Charlie told me about their family restaurant closing down.

"Good. Make sure he knows that our colors are red and gold. We also don't need anything to heavy or messy." The twins nod and Kevin writes down Alice's suggestions.

"Everyone else is going to be working on decorations, We are making this a star studded event, red carpets, glitter, bright lights, The works!" Everyone nods and Alice frowns.

"I missed something... OH MUSIC!" She turns to me.

I roll my eyes. "Sure I'll do music." She claps her hands together and bounces in place excitedly.

* * *

><p>After getting out of Student government I rush to the gymnasium, not wanting Lauren and Jessica to find a reason to single me out on my first day back.<p>

It's more Jessica than Lauren actually. Lauren is a bitch but Jessica is a fake bitch. When Lauren attacks you, you know it's coming, Jessica on the other hand will, smile in your face, hug you, and stab you in the back, all in the same second. And for those reasons me and Lauren have never had a problem, me and Jessica haven't gotten along since we were in the sand box.

Despite her being their cousin, The Wilson's have never hid their indiscretions about me being friendly with Lauren. They tell me she's going to wait until I've let my guard completely and fully dawn, and then she's going to go for the kill. For that reason, I'm still very careful about what I say and do around Lauren. I already have one crazy hoe at home who would use any and everything against me, I don't need another one.

As I push open the gym doors I come face to face with the two in question. Jessica gives me a nasty look. This is going to be fun.

* * *

><p><strong>So sorry for the slight cliff hanger. I didn't have time to write this weekend, My friend Skye stayed over all weekend and the bitch was sick the entire time. So basically what I'm saying is, It's her fault this chapter sucked. Also I'm starting a Percy Jackson fanfiction so if you're into that sort of thing, you should go read Don't.<strong>

**On a different note, Capricorn season starts tonight at midnight. Happy birthday to everyone between 12/ 22/ 14 and 1/ 19/ 15. Turn up Capricorns!**

**QOTD: What is your zodiac sign. I'm a cancer Bitches (July 20th)**


	13. Till then I walk alone

**__**Till then I walk alone**__**

Walking into the gymnasium, I'm met with a completely different experience than I was expecting. Dance club usually averages about thirty five to forty five participants, Today there is ten people in the gymnasium and that's counting me.

"Umm, Lauren?" I look around confused as a the tall brunette begins walking towards me. "Where is everybody." It's actually really depressing for me to see the usually packed club deserted.

"Sorry to tell you, But this is everybody. Me and Jessica had a bit of a falling out, I told her I would kick her off the team and she said if she went she was taking the team with her. For once in her life the bitch wasn't bluffing. She taold a couple of girls a couple of situations I may or may not have gotten into with their boyfriends, those girls told their friends and now," She turns and raises her arms. "This is our dance team. Now what are we going to do?"

"What do you mean we? It's my first day back." I say surveying the room and trying to figure out how I would possibly fit that in my schedule."

"I mean exactly what I said. You're the best dancer we have, you're creative as hell, plus," She drops her voice to a whisper. "Everyone else on this team absolutely sucks, and I refuse to have my reputation ruined because you have your high and mighty Phoenix stick shoved up your ass! Kay?"

She tosses her hair over her shoulder and turns on her heel. She skips to the center of the gym. Guess I'm co-captain. "Alright, ladies and gentlemen, Can I get your attention please?" Everyone turns to look at her.

"Well first off all, I'd like to welcome back one of our beloved members, Ryder Swan. Who has agreed, very graciously, to be our new team co- captain." There's a round of applause which isn't that long since once again, there is only ten of us.

"Now, since we are having this change in powers, why don't you guys do your stretches while we try to figure our next move." She waits for a second, while everyone just continues to look at her. "Now!" She screams, causing everyone to scramble over the gym and into their workout positions. "Damien, lead the exercises, Ryder, Meet me over on the bleachers!"

I roll my eyes before climbing to the top of the bleachers. "So, here's the deal. We have six months until Nationals and we are nowhere near ready to compete." I sigh.

"Well, What do we have done so far."

"Nothing. Jessica not only took our best performers, She also took our plans. We're at ground zero. The only reason we made it to nationals is because Quileute high sucks just as much as we do, and Seattle was disqualified. Now can we please start planning? This is my last year and I really want to finally win."

"Alright," I run a hand through my hair. "What's the theme this year." The theme never seems to be in our favor. Sophomore year was a hip hop theme. You've never seen pathetic until you've seen thirty kids from Forks try to 'Krump'.

"Ballroom dancing." I sigh. Not ballroom dancing, not again. Ballroom dance was the theme my freshman year. Long story short, I ended up pulling a muscle in my crotch during what was supposed to be a 'sensual' dance number. Not a good time in my life. "We need to put together one group dance and one partner dance, and I was thinking..." Oh god, I don't like where this is going. "Maybe you and Edward could do the partner dance."

I look across the gym to see Edwards eyes had snapped up to meet mine as well, as if he had heard his name being is doing the stretches with udder boredom on his face, letting it well known that he doesn't want to be here. How did I miss him before? He is literally the worst person at blending in. "Umm, I don't think that's a great idea." I say, breaking eye contact and looking down at my lap.

"Oh, come one! Who in their right mind doesn't want to dance with Edward Cullen!" She exclaims like it's the most ridiculous thing she has ever heard. "His dad making him join extracurricular is the best thing that has ever happened to us. I mean, it may be a little awkward since he dumped your sister, but he's so gorgeous. And he's an awesome dancer." I roll my eyes, there's no way I can get out of this is there?

I look back up at Edward Cullen. He catches my eyes and shakes his head and smirks. It's as if he read my mind. His smirk gets even bigger causing me to avert my eyes. Its a good thing he's pretty, cause he's weird as hell. I could swear I heard laughter across the gym.

It takes me and Lauren the entire time to figure out half of the group dance, we haven't even started trying to configure the partner dance. "Can'tr you stay for a little while longer?" Lauren asked annoyed as I start packing up my things.

"Wish I could. I got to get to public service." he nods, crumpling her nose.

Laurens response was correct, I spent the rest of my time at school scrapping gum off of the bottom of cafeteria tables and helping the cafeteria ladies throw out month old mystery meat.

I didn't think I would anticipate going to La Push with Paul and Embry, but after cleaning out rotten food that wasn't even food to begin with, I ran to the car and started it up quickly, before someone could think up something else they needed to do.

The ride to La Push is too long for me and every second of it has me contemplating just turning around and calling to say that I had gotten sick at school earlier. But I don't, and eventually arrive to the 'Welcome To The Quilute Reservation' sign.

I slow the car and dial the number the boys had called me earlier on. Paul picks up, so I assume it's his phone. "You're late. Where are you?" He demands. I roll my eyes even though he can't see it.

"Excuse me, Sir, I'm going to need you to lose that base in your mother fucking voice. I don't know whose daddy you are but you damn sure aren't mine. Now I will turn this damn car around if you don't watch it."

"You can call me daddy if you want. I'm kidding." He adds the last part just as I start to say something. "We're at my house." He gives me the address and then hangs up, causing me to grumble to myself while driving through rows of houses that all look exactly the same until I eventually get to the house.

I can barely knock on the door before Paul throws the door open. "Glad to see you finally made it, Princess. We were worried about you." I roll my eyes, trying to walk around him. He steps in the way, blocking the door.

"Paul, Just let her in." Embry pops up behind Paul with a happy grin. "Hey Ryder."

"Hi, Embry. Paul, Move." I say trying to get by him again.

"You say hi to him before you try to get into my house? Nope, doesn't work like that."

I groan. "Hey Paul, how are you doing today. I've missed you so much."

" Now was that so hard. " He says stepping out of the way. I kick him in the shin as I pass by, which hurts my toe a little more than I'm willing to admit. He rolls his eyes. "You're a piece of work you know- What happened to your face." He says reaching to touch the scratch marks. I slap his hand away.

" My sister is the devil." I say dismissively waving my hand. Neither boy takes that as an appropriate response.

"You can tell us when we get to the beach." Embry says. Almost immediately after he says this, his phone rings. After a five minute whisper conversation in the phone, Embry hangs up and rolls his eyes. "Change of plans."

"What happened?" Paul asks from behind me. He grabs my waist and pulls me to his chest, resting his chin on the top of my head. I look up annoyed but I stay quiet.

"Jake is taking the night off. Told Sam he needed to comfort his im- girlfriend in her time of distress." He pauses to look at me. " Anyway, I have to pick up his shift." Shift? "See you guys later I guess?" He looks sadly. I give him a hug before he exits.

"Well," Paul says sitting down on the black leather couch and pulling me down with him. "Babe, I guess it's just the two of us. What do you say we cancel the beach trip and have a night in." He puts an arm around my shoulder which I promptly take back off.

"That sounds great and all but I'm staying at my friends house for a while and Elysium has a strict curfew." He laughs and I get back up. He grabs my hand and guides me out of the hose, bringing a black book bag with him. He doesn't lock the door but then I remember what Uncle Billy once told me. The people on the reservation are so close, it would be like messing with your own family.

As we walk to the beach, He grabs my hand. After several attempts to pull away I decide to just go with it and let it happen. Once on the beach he leads me to the cliffs where he proceeds to pull a picnic blanket out of his bag and speading it over the ground.

"Oh tin man, you do have a heart." I say with a laugh, sitting down on the soft plaid blanket.

He rolls his eyes. "Nah I just didn't want to hear you complain about messing up your clothes, so don't you go around telling people that I've gone soft or any shit like that." I give him a look. "What?" I give a little smirk.

"Nothing."

"Nothing my ass. Tell me what's on your mind, babe."

"Just thinking that maybe I misjudged you. You aren't as big of a douche bag as you seem," We sit there in silence for a while before he speaks up again.

"Does this mean I'm getting laid?" I sigh. I stand corrected. "Oh come on, Princess. Stop being so sensitive. I was just kidding." He says flopping down onto the blanket clad ground. How the hell did that not hurt?He pats the ground next to him and I sit down. "So, Go ahead. Tell me all the bitch fits that went down in the Swan household."

"Ugh!" I groan putting my hands over my face. "I'm so over talking about it. I just don't want to think about that demon right now." I lay back gently, careful not to break my head on the ground.

"Alright, Alright. Just please tell me you at least made her bleed." He says looking at me with wide excited eyes. I laugh he looks just like a little kid on Christmas morning, waiting to see if his mom got him the present he asked for.

"Yeah. I think she might have a black eye too."

He raises his arms in the air. "That is the best thing ever. My girls a fighter!" He says putting an arm around my shoulder.

I look up at him. "Since when am I _your _girl?"

"Since we're having a romantic cliff side date under the moonlight added with the fact that your head is on my chest and you're flirting with me." Flirting? I don't think I've ever flirted. I don't think I can flirt.

"I am so not flirting with you, You wish!"

"I sure do."

* * *

><p><strong>Author Notes<strong>

**1. The comment section has started to run a little dry. PLEASE REVIEW. I'm a sad, single teenage girl who sits alone in her bedroom all day. Those random notes from strangers are all I look forward to... If that pathetic insight on my life doesn't promote reviewing, I don't know what will**

**2. I have noticed that I tend to forget words and ignore some grammar rules while I'm writing, Which is why I need a beta. I know there's that section on here where you find betas and message them, but I'm entirely too awkward for that. So if anyone is willing to beta for me or know someone who is please leave a comment down below.**

**3. This will be my last Sunday update. This story will now be updated every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday**

**4. I need all of you to go vote on the poll RIGHT NOW! We currently have a three way tie.**

**Question of the day (only one person answers these, But I continue anyway :/)**

**What is your current favorite song. Mine is either Don't by Ed Sheeran or All About It by Hoodie Allen ft. Ed Sheeran**


	14. I'm walking down the line

_**I'm walking down the line**_

We lay there talking for hours and I find that under his asshole exterior, Paul actually is a pretty decent guy.

"What in the hell would posses you to lick a swing set?" He asks with a laugh, head thrown back and eyes closed. We were talking about our most embarrassing childhood stories, He ran down the street naked screaming 'Look at my wee wee'. I got mono from a swing set.

"Asphodel dared me to do it. I never back down from a dare."

"So, if I dared you to kiss me right now," He lifts my chin with his index finger. "Would you." He leans in closes to where we're almost touching and I can feel his breath when he speaks.

"I never back down from a dare." I'm leaning in to, and we're so close I can almost feel his breath on mine. Then, of course, my phone rings. "Shit." Paul laughs as I reach into my back pocket and pull out my phone. "Oh shoot," I joke. "Looks like I'd stayed out too long part curfew, The wardens calling to check up on me."

"Hey, El." I say, swatting Paul's hand away as he reaches to brush a stray hair away from my face, which causes him to poke out his bottom lip and whimper. '_Behave' _I mouth at him. He leans in and whispers 'you like it when I don't' in the ear that didn't have a phone pressed to it. "So what's up?"

"What the hell do you mean what's up? It's midnight, your dad keeps calling, and unless you take hour long showers on a regular basis, He's going to get suspicious eventually."

"Shit. I'm going to call him back right now. I'm on my way."

"Hurry." She says before hanging up. I jump up and begin going in the direction of Paul's house.

"Whoa, Where you going?" Paul asks coming after me, shoving the blanket back into the bag.

"I got to get back to my friends house, now SHH!" I say as I speed dial my dads number. He picks up immediately.

"Hey daddy. Elysium said you called while I was in the shower." Paul picked the absolute worst time to decide to spin me around and lift me in the air. I slap him, but wrap my legs around his waist anyway... It's not flirting, He just knows the way better, plus he walks faster than me. That's what it is.

"Yeah, I called. Ryder, Leaving like that is completely unacceptable." He chastises. I roll my eyes, gripping the phone a little tighter. "And so is what you did to your sister." Paul places a kiss on my neck and whispers for me to calm down. I push his head away but he leans back in and continues.

"Dad, I left a note. It's not like I went AWOL like your other child does once every six months. And speaking of that thing that I'm forced to call my sister, What about what she did to me. I have scratches all over my body, I'm pretty sure she pulled out some of my hair, and the bitch bit me!" We have now arrived in Paul's driveway. I hop down and bury the phone in my shoulder. "I'll call you tomorrow." He nods and helps me into the car. I quickly put the keys in the ignition and pull out of the driveway.

"You know what this is ridiculous. I'm coming to get you and we are all going to talk this out as a family."

"No!" I exclaim speeding down the rain slicked road. "I mean- I doesn't think I'm ready to see Bella yet. It would be a lot more pleasant if I came back tomorrow maybe." Please say yes. Please say yes.

"Fine. But tomorrow after school you are to come back home and talk things out with you sister. Got me?"

"I got you." I say slowing down. Thank god.

"Alright, Well goodnight baby." He says with a sigh, that makes me feel more than a little bad. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Night daddy. I love you."

"I love you too.

* * *

><p>"Where the hell were you." The twins basically bum rush me as I step out of the car. Elysium's arms are folded out over her chest and Asphodel stands behind her with a look of worry on her face. They act like my mother and father. I think with a frown.<p>

" I was just out with a friend. We lost track of time, I don't see what the big deal is." I say brushing past them and through the door leading from the garage into the kitchen. My phone vibrates in my back 's Paul's number which I quickly save in my phone before reading his text.

**Paul - I miss you already **

**Ryder- You're soooooo lame**

"The big deal is, I don't like the type of person you become around your sister. You're fighting and staying out all night doing god knows what with god knows who despite giving up your 'party girl' lifestyle sophomore year, and is that a damn hickey on your neck? What's up, Rye. I'm worried about you- and Del agrees"

"Don't drag me into this." Asphodel says quickly.

**Paul- You love it though**

**Ryder- You wish.**

"What's up, Is for the first time in years I thought I could get out and have a good time without worrying about all of the bullshit in my life. Guess I was wrong." Elysium's face soften and she starts to stay something but I storm out of the front door, passing Dean, who was just getting back from the gym or some whores house.

**Ryder- I know I dnt know u well enough, and I shouldn't trust you. But is it weird I wanna see you again?**

**Paul- Don't worry, I have that effect on girls. & believe me it's more than mutual**

I get to my house, careful not to be seen, and slide in through the window well, I lock my room door since I really don't want my family to know I'm here, which is why I also bring a pillow and a blanket into the closet and put a sweater under the door to block the light from flooding into the room.

**Ryder- Call me.**

Not even a minute passes before my phone starts buzzing. Even though I new it was coming, my heart flutters a little bit. What the hell is happening to me? I've only known this guy for two days!

"Hey." I say trying to be casual.

"Hey? You order me to call you at one o'clock in the morning and all I get is a HEY? I hope you're not expecting to get any. Because I'm telling you right now, I don't know what kind of boy you think I am, but I am not your little one am booty call."

I laugh. "You're an idiot."

"You love it. Though I have to admit, Princess. I was just about to call anyway, But I thought it was just too needy."

I laugh again. "How do you do that?" I ask resting my head on the pillow.

"Do what? Look so perfect without even trying."

"No. You just make me feel like I've known you for years, and its only been two days."

"I'll tell you how I do that, if you tell me how I just wanted to fool around with you a day ago, and now.. I'm starting to really like you."

* * *

><p>The next day, Extracurriculars fly by in a ridiculous amount of time. Me and Alice started to configure sketches of what we want the dance to look like and me and Lauren finished the group dance.<p>

I walk back to the house in the dark, which isn't the safest thing, but anything that wastes time even a little bit right now is okay with me. When I get there, I notice all of the lights are on. Oh, it's gonna be one of those nights. It's times like these I regret giving up alcohol.

I knock on the door, realizing I had forgotten my key. Dad opens the door and pulls me into a hug. "I missed you so much, Baby." He mutters into my hair.

"I missed-"

"Enough with the niceties. Kitchen now." He orders shutting the front door. I roll my eyes and walk to the kitchen. Plopping down in the chair across from Bella. I'm pleased to see that she indeed has a black eyes as well as a nose wrapped in gauze. Dad joins us soon after, sitting in the middle.

"So, Who wants to say apologizing first." I'll be damned if I'm apologizing. After at least five minutes of silence, Bella decides to speak up.

"Well I guess I'll be the bigger person and go first." I prop my feet on the table and cross my arms. "I am sorry. Sorry that I am forced to call someone like you my sister."

"Well, um... This is good! We're communicating. That was a bad example but it's the thought that counts. So Ryder, Do you have anything you need to geet off you chest." I think about it. Now would be the chance to get everything that I've been holding in out.

But where would that get me? It won't keep her from lording my mistakes over my head. It wont change the way she thinks of me or vise versa. There's no way to make our relationship better.

"No. No I don." I kick off from the table and go to my room. I cant fix me and Bella's burnt bridge. There's nothing I can do as long as she holds all the dice.

And unless you've felt that, that utter lack of control on your life, you have never known what it's like to slip into undoubtable depression.

* * *

><p><strong>Authors Note<strong>

**1. I deleted the poll, since none of you were voting anyway. By the way there was a three way tie between Emmett, Paul, and Asphodel. I'm not saying that she'll end up with one of those three, but it is a possibility.**

**2. SO, She hasn't really interacted with any of the guys (or Asphodel) that much so I decided to give them all an interacting chapter. This was the Pye chapter (Paul + Rye = Pye)**

**QUESTION OF THE DAY**

**When is your birthday. Mine is July twentieth.**


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